Diary Entry

LOOSING MY RELIGION

I'M SITTING IN THE RUINS OF WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE THE ONE WAY I'D REACH ULTIMATE DIVINITY, BUT SLOWLY OVER TIME I REALIZE THAT I ONLY TRULY SAW MY GOD THROUGH THE BLACK MIRRORED EYES OF JENNIFER, SHE SHOWED ME HOW TO LOVE, HOW TO TRULY SEEK MY INNER PEACE AND CONFIDENCE THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

NOW SHE'S OFF TO ACHIEVE HER DREAMS, EVEN IF IT WAS AT A COST, GONE SHE GOES, IF IT HAD TO BE THIS WAY, i MAY GO WITH HER IN SEARCH OF FINDING THE SAME DREAM.
BUT I MAY ALSO WAIT UNTIL THE FOREST RETURNS TO PEACE ONCE MORE, I WILL BE THE MR WORLDWIDE 305!Exclaim!!!! NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT FROM ME....

THERE"S TURMOIL.

I MISS JENNIFER... I SEARCHED THE WHOLE FOREST, WONDERING WHERE SHE COULD'VE GONE, BUT I WENT JUST IN CIRCLES, SHE COULDN'T HAVE GONE, UNLESS UNDERGROUND, UNLESS IN THE AIR, I'M WRITING LETTERS, BEGGING TO THE GODS THAT LAY BEFORE ME WITH THEIR TWO STATUES, NOW LOOKING MORE AND MORE CHIPPED WITH THE DECADE AND A HALF, THEY MAKE HOMES FOR ISPODS AND NOW A STARVING SPIDER, LONGING FOR THE CHANCE TO DRAIN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM, INVADING THEIR CONTROL OF WHERE THEY CAN GO, PLANNING TO MAKE EVERY LITTLE ONE OF THEM, A SPIDER LIKE HIM....

HE TOLD THE ISOPODS THAT THE TWIN GODS ARE HIS SOLE MOTIVATOR, HIS STARVATION IS PURELY FICTICIOUS, I'VE SEEN HIM FEAST ON OTHER SPIDERS, THOUGH HE CLAIMED HE NEVER HAD.
HE WISHES TO BE THE ISOPODS, HE ENVIES THEIR POWER, THE WAY THEY CLIMB, DEVOUR ALL THE DECAY HE LEFT
BEHIND, TAKING ALL HE SPANNED OUT FOR MILES AND MILES THAT REPEAT, OVERLAP, AND BECOME THE SAME PATCHES OF GRASS THAT MAKE UP THE ENDLESS CYCLE THAT IS HIS BRUTALITY.

THE TWIN GODS DO NOTHING...

BETRAYED, LIED TO, COMPLETELY FRAUDED

I WAS ON A TRIP THROUGH THIS WACKY FOREST, IN SEARCH FOR MY BELOVED SWEET LADY JENNIFER BUT SHE'S NOWHERE, NOT EVEN HAVING THE BEST NIGHT OF HER LIFE IN THE LOG WITH THE OTHER BUGS, SHE USED TO BE A WILD GAL, CRAZY GIRL, BUT NOW SHE'S GONE OFF THE RAILS, OFF THE GRID.
SHE WANTED TO BE A COUNTRY GIRL... BUT I NEVER BELIEVED SHE'D LEAVE LIKE THAT. THAT'S TOUGH.



I WENT IN SEARCH AND MET THIS WILD LOOKING GUY WITH ONE EYE AND A MASSIVE FIGURE. HE TOLD ME TO CHECK BACK INTO MY LOCAL FOREST COMMUNE, SCREAM IT OUT, NEWSPAPERS, MISSING POSTERS, SITTING ONTOP OF GRANNYS COASTERS.
SO I WAS SETTING LETTERS AND MET THIS LADY CALLED "PRETTY WOMANS FROM YOUR CITY TONIGHT."
NOW THATS ONE FREAKY TITLE, ALARMING EVEN. I WAS DISTRAUGHT AND BEGGED FOR HER TO HEAR MY PLEAS FOR HELP, JENNIFER KNEW THOSE KINDS OF GALS, SHE WAS A LADY LOVING LADYBUG, SUPER COOL AND FANCY. SHE EVEN LOOKED LIKE JENNIFERS TYPE, WE KEPT SPEAKING ON A TELEGRAPH, BUT THIS LADY DIDN'T SEEM TO LISTEN TO MY CRIES, ALL SHE CARED ABOUT WAS THE REAL NASTY STUFF< THAT FREAKY STUFF, BUT MY TIME WAS LIMITED.
I BEGGED FOR HELP IF SHE KNEW WHERE ACROSS THE PLANET MY FRIEND JENNIFER HAD GONE, TO GO ONTO THE PLANE WITH ME, TO BOOK THE HOTEL, SHE COULD BRING HER GIRLFRIENDS, BUT THIS LADY FREAKED ME OUT A BIT.

TURNS OUT SHE NEEDED 50 GRAND TO HELP VISIT ME TO THE AIRPORT, I SAT THERE WAITING AFTER PAYING HER MOST MY SAVINGS MEANT FOR FINDING JENNIFER. I WAS GONNA PAY THAT FOR JENNIFERS MEDICAL ASSISTENCE, OH JENNIFER. I"M SO SORRY JENNIFER, I KNOW YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE FINE BUT GAL YOU"LL GET YOURSELF CAUGHT IN A FAN.

THIS FREAKY LADY LIED TO ME, SHE GHOSTED ME BEFORE EVEN HALLOWEEN SEASON, LEFT INTO THE AIR, STOLE MY CASH AND NOW SHE"S OFF.
...I"M DOOMED. I STILL DON"T KNOW WHERE JENNIFER IS.... DONT TRUST THOSE LADIES IN YOUR CITY, THEY"LL LIE TO YOU AND BE SUPER NASTY.

I HAVE UPSETTING NEWS......

JENNIFER... MY BUG... SHE'S MISSING..........
THAT'S NOT DALE, THAT'S ROWDY, I'M IN NEED OF A HOTEL CHURCH BELL DEVINE INTERVENTION.....



JENNIFER COME BACK!Exclaim!

stone dancing at home



dance! dance when no one else will!



dance for the eternal stones! dance for their wisdom!

hard lines are my favorite. affronts to nature. how BOLD!

new eyes upon the forest



glory be

beautiful creatures i am happy to join you. dance with me, fawns and happy woodland critters. tremble, mighty stags.

eternally with the birch trees - Twisted

What happened?

Whoa! So... I'm not sure how I got here, and by *here* I mean this body, but I know it... carries some heavy burdens.
Me? Oh I'm just a humble Forest spirit. You know: the one deers feel when they dance, or have fun conjuring, or just lay next to each other. I consume those emotions. And I am so happy they exist. I'm sure the Forest herself is at peace as long as her residents are cheerful and carefree, for she could not have been created so magical and protected from the outer world otherwise. I know she wants her children to be happy, and I'm here to make her will come true. Oh, and yes, to me the Forest feels like a female, as... we were all born in it, don't you think? Anyway it's something on the spiritual level, I don't know how to explain it, and honestly? don't even think it needs to be explained!
So, whatever happened to this body I've been summoned to, must've been horrible. Its original owner must've lost any faith in the Forest. 'Don't want to think what they did to themselves, but... I'm its new master now. I will make sure the balance is restored: for each drop of sadness and despair spilled by this body I will make a whole pond worth of happiness, I swear. I love the Forest and I want her to be at her best.

...

Twin-Gods, I almost forgot! 'Don't know what the old master of this body called it, but you can adress me as Brother Phillip-Theodor the Fey. Or just Brother Phillip. Or Brother Theodor. Or the Fey Brother... Basically just however you want!

Update

Hi again everyone. Thanks for clicking on this post.

It's been awhile since I left the discord server and by proxy essentially retired from the endless forest community. I'm just checking in to update you all on some recent developments in my health.

I've had some issues with my back and a tense time around MRI scans to ensure it wasn't anything sinister. Turns out it was just two compressed and slightly herniated lumbar disks which are angering the nerve there. Not too sure what that entails. But that's not really the reason I'm writing this post.

About a week ago I found a strange, disproportionate hardening under my armpit on the side that I had previously had breast cancer in 2022. Of course, I panicked. It made me think that my biggest nightmare was coming to fruition and I would have to fight this horrible disease once again. Despite knowing that I shouldn't get ahead of myself, I just couldn't help but lose sleep. Some of the facts of this change are worrying. They say one of the first (if not THE first) places breast cancer spreads is to the lymph nodes under the armpit. One could argue "but maybe its scar tissue or fluid" which I have though about too but they never actually operated on my armpit. They removed the sentinel lymph node which is in the chest. The only other benign explanation would be something like an after effect from radiotherapy. However, I'm extra worried because I have only noticed this in the last week and its actually itchy too. I'm hoping that the reason I've only noticed this lately is because I've lost 10 pounds but with these things you can never be too sure. It is also my dominant arm so maybe its a muscular discrepancy.

So, having been told to air on the side of caution for pretty much the rest of my life, I tried to contact my team in hospital and, after some voicemails and missed calls I finally got in touch. They are going to see me in the hospital tomorrow morning to check it out i.e.
Aru's picture

Distractions and school

Lately I've been finding it really difficult with staying on top of my studies. As a result I completely botched two exams last trimester and I've found myself having to do resits, which I've never had to do before. The pass mark was already insanely low initially, but I couldn't even do that and the pass percentage has increased as a result. Anything that distracts me will have me on another tangent for an hour until I can sit myself down, only to focus for a grand total of half an hour until I get distracted again. It didn't really help that I was just sort of constantly talking with my friends on voice calls-- I found it hard to focus on them and on my content at the same time. I've tried stopping that altogether for a bit as I get ready for my last re-sit, but the issue still glares at me with things not making sense and not being able to get my act together. It makes me feel really directionless and "lazy" like what some people might call it.

I just don't really know what to do, especially with my parents. I tried to argue that I would like to take a lower load (so that I can have more time to improve my grades and not feel like a total failure), but my mum just said that I had no excuse because I didn't have a job or any other commitments outside of school. Which is, while true, really sad for my GPA; I was doing really well when I had a lower course load, which is to be expected, but feeling like I was winning at something really did help with doing things. I understand they just want me to "finish on time", but now I'm just barely scraping by for other courses again (and failed some others) and it feels really horrid. That sense of failure is really... something. Looming over you.

I don't really want to have to chase up the courses I failed, but with the way things are going and my mindset, I might have to. My last re-sit still felt really uncertain and I didn't manage to answer all the questions properly.
Jeweleye's picture

14 Years had Passed

Hello everyone,

Two days ago, on May 29th, my deer avatar, Jeweleye turned 14 years old. I have played this game for a long time, beginning in 2010. I have been an active player and member of this game and community. Many of my Forest Friends are long gone, but I hope they will return someday. I miss them dearly. Over the years, I have enjoyed helping many players keep their new avatar appearances. I have made new friends along the way too.

In 2017, with the new 5th generation of pictograms, I introduced Widmung into the forest. He is my second oldest avatar acquired during the Halloween festival. With both of my deer characters, I am continuing to help the next generation of new players into the Forest.

I have many memorable moments from the past and enjoy making more now. I hope that this game will continue its support so we can play it long into the future. I thank the creators of this game. They are trying their best to resolve the issues on the remake of The Endless Forest.

Best wishes to you all and I will see you soon in the Forest! Smiling
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