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GingerNut's picture

The Story of Bartleby and Jergens - Part Five (WARNING: Really awful, unfunny jokes ahead!)

Chapter Five – Sissy and Sinful

WARNING: REALLY BAD HUMOR AWAITS YOU. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE

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“Okay… options… Gotta go over the options… Sure there may be two big freaking dogs in front of me…” Jergens’s mind was going all around in a blur. He decided to go over all the possible choices that he could make…

A. Scream bloody murder

B. Run like Hell

C. Continue with phase one and act as if the dogs don’t exist.

After carefully eliminating the various options he could take, Jergens decided to go with option ‘C’. It was his least favorite, but it was the only sure-fire way to go on with the plan.

Actually, the ‘plan’ really only had one phase. Jergens just thought that the idea of ‘phases’ sounded cool. No, the actual plan in order to land himself some employment was to seduce Bartleby. That was it, no strings attached. Ludicrous, yes, but it was the Jergens way. The Jergens way didn’t have to be sane. He stood up and walked out of the bushes, brushing stray leaves off of him.

The two dogs snapped their heads at him simultaneously, a vicious growl rumbling within them both. Jergens saw their black gums curl over their fearsome yellow fangs. Using every bit of composure to not piss himself in fear, he smiled rather suavely at Bartleby (or at least in his general direction, his eyes were completely locked onto the dogs).

Bartleby cocked an eyebrow at his new visitor when he came out of the foliage and eyed him suspiciously. A very light blonde lock of hair covered one of his eyes. “You again?” he muttered, almost in disgust before standing up and looking him over. “I’ll admit that it’s an improvement though…” he said, tapping his lip in mild thought as the two dogs sat on both sides of him, glaring at Jergens. Jergens himself, on the other hand, didn’t feel as thoughtful. With a very forced (but natural looking) grin, said, “Hey, what’s going on?” Hmm... a bit nonchalant, yes, but it would do.

Flyleaf's picture

To ourania

Sorry , i can not cast new antlers on you because all the trees with pine cones on them have been replaced by big flowers Eye Laughing out loud You will have to wait until all is normal again Laughing out loud
tonim12's picture

How Do I make a Backround for my Bio?

I dont know how to make a backround for my deers bio or put music on in it too.Can anyone help me?

So I need help with Rhye's past :U All ideas welcomed. Thanks.

Any ideas, guys? xD; I won't take every detail of them, but they'll inspire me and such~ If you want information on Rhye it's all here c:

Notes So Far

- human life? What would it have been like? He has the ability to go into the human world now, so how would a past one affect that? When would he have lived?
- deer life? Why hasn't he had a fawnhood? Did he live somewhere else? How did he get here?
- other creature life? How did he get here? Why?
- created by the Gods? Why would they create him? What purpose did he serve? Did he rebel? Why couldn't they just get rid of him?
- parents? Who were they? Where are they now? What were they like?
- children? Did he have any? Who with? How many? Who were they? What happened to them?
- old friends? Who were they? How did they influence his life and personality?
- past love? Did he have any? Has he ever loved? How far did it go? Who were they? Where are they now?
- death? Did he die? How? Murder? Illness? Suicide? If suicide, why?
- portal? Could he have found a mystical portal from his world or life to this one? Can he go back?
- exile? Was he exiled to the Forest? Or somewhere else, but found the Forest instead? Why?
- magic? How much magic can he use? Just Forest magic, or more?
- banished? Was he banished from the Forest before, but has returned? Did he redeem himself, or sneak in? What did he do to deserve banishment?

YEAH. All ideas are welcome, whether it's "IT WAS A RAINY NIGHT WHEN HE GOT HERE" or some long, detailed plot about his life.
GingerNut's picture

The Story of Bartleby and Jergens - Part Four

Chapter Four – Ill and Indisposed

Never before had Jergens felt so clean and refreshed (as well as sexually assaulted). Irene had given him a gift of some of her husband’s old clothes. Sure, they literally almost fell off his skin and bones body, but they were clean. Several people that he walked past no longer glared at him, they just gave him odd, awkward glances. It was quite an improvement, really.

As he strolled down the mansion gates he passed by a rather lovely rose bush. Jergens, who was quite impulsive when it came to matters such as these, picked one without even slowing his pace. He glanced over and happened to notice one of the nearby forests’s deer walking along on the other side of the street. Ordinarily, Jergens would have stopped and inspected it, but for this town, visits from the deer seemed pretty normal, and he wanted to blend in.

When he reached the rock wall enveloping the estate’s garden he considered how he would meet Bartleby again and begin phase one of his plan. Hide in the garden? No… he didn’t quite like that, did he? It also made him seem more like a creepy stalker. Go through the front door? He considered this, going through the front door… asking for some employment like a normal person? For shame! That wasn’t the Jergens way, no sir! But it was either that or the garden stalking…

Of course he went with the garden stalking, who wouldn’t?

He climbed over the wall and dropped behind some bushes, only to stiffen himself and bite his lip in fear. Right across the garden path, less than twenty feet away from him, were two black guard dogs. One had the oddity of a white muzzle; the other had dirtied white paws. Both of them were looking at him in curiosity.

Jergens had been terrified of dogs ever since his birth. No, he had no traumatic event that gave birth to his phobia, he was just deathly afraid of them. Even the small, puffy varieties were scary to him!

z.m123's picture

Antler help plz?

Can somebody help me get my antlers back?
Currently I'm wearing the golden/great butterfly or something...
Trickster's picture

Abio-ness=Epicsauce, would you all agree~? :D

Pffft I so have no P button left after that. But it was so, so very worth it~! *giggles* ♥ ♥ ♥ Screenie blog later fo shuuuuure! Laughing out loud

Best end to my heavy exam period EVAH ♥ Thankyew so very VERY much to you Auriea for that absolutely EPICFABULOUSWONDERFUL abiopartaylovely-ness, and of course to all of the rest of you who joined in-that was so amazing, tee hee~! Laughing out loud Totally lovin' how you all caught onto the danceline, too-sensationaaaal to ze max~! :3 Aaand of course, to all of you who I haven't met before tonight, fess up-you need to be luffed on, tee hee!



Editness: Screenies be up-eth here


alansalo's picture

just a little test

because when I try to reply in my first post it said that I need a "valid author.13215"

[edit]
And, in deed, I can not reply
Seele's picture

Poltergeists Diary 12 - Sitting still and exhaustion.

Poltergeist


She is:

Exhausted.
Suspicious.
Slow.


Rapheal's picture

/This is just here for the note in the comments/

-lalalacomments~-
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