7 September, 2017[=georgia][=#70564a]

Where have the days gone? I'm already in my second trimester, growing rounder by the day. It's hard to believe there's only one baby in there, but I'm absolutely positive that that's the case.

Walter has been sleeping a lot, lately. I miss him. When he is around, he brings me poppies. Almost every day so far. Every moment he's been able to bring them, he has. This means something to him. I mean something to him. I can feel it, he proves it to me. We've had a rocky past, but here and now, things are good. I wish I could prove to everyone that he has been working to turn himself around, but it feels like an impossible task.

I don't know if he regrets all of the things he's done, I won't speak for him about that. But I know he regrets the place those actions have brought him. I know he understands that he can't go on being the villain. He isn't built for it. He learned that a long time ago, when his system of support started to fall away. When his friends began to disappear, long before I came back and found him in his sorry state. That's about when he started to unravel, I think. Making threats, exploding in anger.
He has been suffering for a very long time. Some say it's all a demon deserves. I say perpetual punishment is cruel. It's difficult to forgive, but not impossible.

It's difficult to change, but not impossible.

But I can't change anyone's mind. It's been made very clear to me. I've begun to settle into the mindset that my endeavors have been in vain. Maybe it will always be this way, until the end of his wretched days. I hope not, but... I don't know, anymore. My idealistic view of others is beginning to dim. I see petty hatred and selfish disregard.