[=#006400]
I awoke to a forest that seemed stiller than usual. Certainly no one I knew was on, but I considered it the strange hour, more than anything else. I wandered over to da drinkplaats, where I had heard a fawn cry out, surrounded by deer that bore my name and little else. While I played transform briefly, I found it was not the best way to get to know other deer; I never even managed to greet the little fawn I had come out there to meet. While it was pleasant, circling as a dove, pondering the life of doves, who flicker on white wings into sight and pull above to some unseen heaven...I do wonder what their lives are like. I guess it's the old curiosity. Dove families, dove happiness... Of course, I am of the opinion that rabbits, wherever they hide in these woods, must be happier than doves. Just being a rabbit makes me happy; their bodies are small and soft and cosy, like they have a candle-flame beneath their skin and it flickers through their fur and blood; it circulates like oxygen and fills them up with something soft as wilting rose petals.

...Regardless, I heard another solitary deer, and encountered a lively fellow dressed in death's gear, for the full sake of contrast, who frolicked with me about the pond waters for a time, leading me on a bit of a dash to the other side of the water. We rested briefly in the shallows before meeting a deer who, as before, bore my name and nothing else (he is welcome to it; not thinking you have a name, even if you have the wrong one, is a sad and lonely thing) and taught him to enjoy a rolling laugh where the waters soak up around you and clean your back.

I wonder if, the reason I leave is so that I can't be left.
I don't really understand it.
Why do I have a mental block when it comes to finishing something?
Why do I hate finishing something and being done with it?
Why is my solution to run away before the end and leave things hanging?

I push others away and feel lonely. But I am really good at making myself alone again, and so easily disappointed or disinterested with others. Why is being with others so difficult?

my deer wont be in game for... i have no idea how long and i wont be here much either

my desktop *that all my art and all things tef* was on got a virus..no idea how just crap luck i guess,as i have all kinds of walls up..needless to say im very upset. I may lose ALL my art..i dont know yet.

anyway take care guys

i have been fadeing out any way. maybe i need this break. I hope it wont last too long though

It's not a full sketch and I apologize but its the first time I ever tried to draw a wolf head so I wanted to do it big.

FleuraLuna for Bayleen

I feel artsy tonight so the first comment with a bio of their character will get some art.

I've started to notice that a lot of animals seem to make me think of Quad when they have black and white fur patterns. It made me wonder about the transform/shapeshift spells...

What if the Endless Forest deer eventually developed magic where they could shapeshift into any animal, and on their own free will?

I was thinking that I may be seeing Quad as an embodiment of other animals, that I feel his presence even when I see another animal that reminds me of him. Like he's always watching over me.

A few examples for Quad:

Dark Eyed Junco
Kaibab Squirrel
Canadian Goose
"Black" Coyote
Crossocheilus Siamensis "Algae-eater fish"


Obviously this isn't limited to my deer - feel free to post up pictures of animals you think resemble your own deer!

But yeah...it's like they're always protecting us.

Yeah, I found this in my photobucket account while I was browsing through. Who is this?

So warm, so very very warm, my chin on your shoulders, at your belly, on your knees, over your back. To explore you with my lips, my whiskers, my nose. The smell of you, the very aura of your existence, I relish it- it is my nectar.

I inhale, and my following breath parts your fur like a stone entering a pool, and for a moment I can see the pale of your skin. It's smoothness is alien to me, but I love the sight of it. I exhale again, only to breath in your scent, again, nudging myself closer- ever-ever closer.

I can't be close enough..

It's never enough..

I want to suffocate myself in you. I crave impossible intimacy, I want to enter you, breath in you, thrive in you- it's never enough. You think it too much, but it is never, ever enough.

My mouth finds your chin, your jaw. Supple, tender reminders left there, tokens of adoration. I can't reach your ears.. but oh, how I wish I could whisper things into them, tell you over and over how much you mean to me, over and over, until I can't breathe another word.

You smile, and ah! I would think my very spirit lifted from my body in delight. I capture it in my mind, replay it a million times over. How it pleases me, how knowing I could make such a think happen carries my heart.

My heart..

Oh, my heart. If only I could tell you how much it is yours.

How you stand before all others.

How I would bend the world for you.

How I would break my self for you.

How I break my heart for you.

My nostrils fill with your scent, again, nose pressed affectionately so to the broad of your neck. I can close my eyes, and you are all that exists to me, now.. all that exists.

I'm trying to be better about how long I wait to post these.