“Who are you?” You may ask, a taunting smile stretching your face, a certain expectation shimmering in your eyes.
“Come to me; do as I say.”
Many times have I asked myself the same; who am I? Often times, I have purged my own wants, my own desires, in order to satiate the will of another. Happiness eluded me, misery jeered at me. And I always found myself asking that damned question, over and over, in the hopes that I could form my own answer without being forced to recant it.
Far too many times has my heart been torn to shreds, only to be patched up then torn again. Far too many times have I chased the uncatchable, reaching, only to barely touch it before it vanished before my eyes. Far too many times have I done something with the wretched fear that I will lose something precious to me in the process. Far too many times have I questioned the love and friendships of those who have surrounded me.
I have had plenty of time to think; plenty of time to do as I please – plenty of time to see who I have wanted to see, play with whomever I wished to.
What I am about to say are words that have danced around my brain, screaming for release. Sure, as I proclaim them, my heart shall ricochet within the confines of its cage that are my ribs; fear will constrict me, as it has done so many times. But my mind will be stoic, and my words will be strong and true.
Well, then in my profile and many others profile you see a piktogram, mine and some others is "changing" and some (most older users) have their real and own piktogram name.
Then do i get my own piktogram like this i have as profilepicture now?
I though it would be cool if the Twin Gods added a secret cave into the forest, accessed by jumping through the waterfall. (I know you turn red, but it would be cool). The caves walls would be lined with pretty semi-precious, and precious gems like amethyst and smoky quartz. Little springs would spawn cave pools with special, mystical shifting powers, like bats. Special glow in the dark fungi grow in small patches that make you glow when you eat them, and toadstool rings that give shape-shifting power (transforms other deer into special cave creatures). You know that the twin gods are watching when the caves began to glow and flash, and shiny gems fall from the ceiling. What do you think?
Day four, The day of Mercury. I didn't have my dream about Maa again. I dreamt of the warm flowery meadow where I first met my new carer, Samorn. The hazy summer days seemed to float by in-front of me, until...
I opened my eyes, and blinked. The air was cold, and the fog was back. I looked around, and sure enough, Samorn's other form was there, by my side. I knew if it was Samorn a heart, someone would be there to guide me. For a while we hazily galloped through the forest, on and on, racing with only the wind against us. After a while, we slowed up. Samorn quickly trotted to my side as I nearly slid into a giant stone feature. She shook her head, then lead me around to the other side of the rocks. The rocks, they had faces. Faces that reminded me of the vision of Maa, and Samorn. Samorn kneeled down, forelock pressed upon the dirt, and a blue air came around her. This must be the air spirit Maa told me about, and I must pray to these statues. She said they were the "Twin Gods", and they were the ones who made the forest, and guide us through our lives. Maybe they sent Samorn to guide me? They must have made Maa too.... I should really rest on it...
Day three, The day of Telesto, one of Saturn's moons. I dreamt of Maa again, and remembered her soft murmurings to me. Then I did remember the cold, and knew I must find family like Maa.
When I awoke, something was pulling me out of the grassy ditch I knew, into a beautiful meadow. I looked up, and saw a huge fawn, with Antlers like an Antelope, and a coat dark with gold spots, like the night sky. This wasn't a fawn, or Maa. It was another Doe. A grown female deer, just like Maa. The deer was kind, and gave me some mushroom juice like yesterday's juice. I knew I'd found a friend.
Day two, The day of the Moon. I dreamt of the voice, and the warm pelt. The soft earth beneath my body, not remembering the cold I was returning to.
I awoke again, the now harsh wind belting down upon my neck. In reaction, without thinking about anything, I leaped up onto my hooves. I had stood for the first time. The voice, whom I decided to name "Maa", was gone once again. My stomach rumbled, I needed the warm juice Maa had called "Sap". I remember Maa telling me it came from the trees, and there were many trees around me. One of the trees has a bunch of growths spouting from it, so I leaned in.... And took a bite. It was the same juice! Maa had told me the right way to go, so I must remember Maa, I must.
When I first join, and made Peirce, I thought, "This is going to be the only character i'm making.". I thought that if I made a new character, I would just completely go crazy with them. I would make a character every five minutes. Soon I would just have so many characters that I would lose track.
When I finally decided to make Voice, I thought, "Well I'm not going crazy." Now I am. I went and made Dareh and Ignaciaqua. And now I have another character in my head... but he seems to... cliche. You would know what I mean if I made him.
I don't know what to do. Soon I'll just be a girl with too many characters. I'm becoming obsessed. I don't want that to happen. I don't want so many characters that I just eventually fail.
I'm still in a battle with myself with which I should make him or not... Either I could make the cliche character and become completely obsessed. Or have four characters.
