I...Don't Know What To Do Anymore.

OokamiAzura's picture
You have idea how badly I want to quit this game.

Kill all my characters, quit this game, quit my life.

It seems that recently, the only thing I've been able to do is piss people off and make others upset. Whether it was because I was bitter, moody or what have you, I've lost friends as a result.

I never wanted this, and yet this is all I can do.

I simply...don't know what to do anymore.

And no, this is not a cry for help. It's not a petty attention seeker.

This is an absolute truth.

I'm so fucking sick of this...
Tally's picture

I felt this way not so long

I felt this way not so long ago..

Not saying it's best for you, but I just gave it one more chance. You never know who might reach out to help you. And I thank those who did.

I personally would be very sad to see you go, I love to see you around. But if you really think leaving is the only way then I wish you the best. <3
Amazon's picture

Of course not...

Of course not... <3
We're here for you.

ocean's picture

Please don't leave... If you

Please don't leave...
If you absolutely must, just leave for a bit and come back...It might help.
But don't leave for good. <3
OokamiAzura's picture

That's the problem though.

That's the problem though. It's hard for me to leave a place like this. There are still some people that are here that I can talk to and such, but...

Long story short, I simply can't leave. I'd probably have to die before I left. Not that I'm actually going to die, I'm just saying that's how strongly attached I am to this place. =/
day4's picture

I've felt like this before,

I've felt like this before, its not fun. At all.
Like Ocean said: "...leave for a bit..." When I felt like I needed to leave the community I left for a week, then I just had to come back becasue I missed it.
Hope everything goes good for you<3
AnimaSoul's picture

we're here if you need us. We

we're here if you need us. We aren't going anywhere. Take time, stay away if you think it will help. Maybe take a day for yourself. Do whatever you think neccessary. Just remember, we'll be here when and if you decide to return.
The Soul Of Souls
quadraptor's picture

There's nothing you have ever

There's nothing you have ever said or done that's made me mad. Don't be so hard on yourself, I've been down that road and it's not fun.

Take a break from the community if you need to, or if not, talk to us! We're here to listen and to keep each other sane! Smiling

*nuzzles* You've got friends here, remember that!
silentlikethat's picture

Darlin, love... In so many

Darlin, love...

In so many words I want to let you know that there is more than one person who has thought of this idea. Some have achieved it, others draw it out and a few survive the idea and continue on simply by making a change.

I can only speak for myself though, I may be wrong. But as a few now, and more will know now, I was getting depressed with Jettem. I loved her and still do, but I needed a long overdue break from her. So i put her away for a little while. At least until i can get some muse back for her. I still come to the community to check up on friends and chitchat. I've made new ones over msn as well. I simply turned my attention to a new character, one I left int he dust and forgot to enjoy.
Sometimes just by using a diff character, or finding someone else to talk to help with that feeling of frustration.
And maybe your change is to kill off your characters. Start fresh, think of something out of the box, create something crazy and exciting for you! Despite what others say, do not let others or situations get you down, when there are others you can turn to for help. In losing friends, you gain others. I almost lost a friend...becasue I didn't speak up about my concern. And I realized, or a hope, that that person had missed talking to me too after some horrid things I had done.

But you can always consider taking a real break from here. Take a week off from rping, going INForest, or coming to the comm site. It's whatever you choose hun.
But remember some of us might be in the same boat as you and always have a listening ear? Or can lend a creative hand if you need it? I would be one who would like you to stay, the recent nights with you have always left me in higher spirits then when I don't talk to anyone.

Know that at least I love you? That you have one person here who does not want to use your guts for a game of jump rope? <3!

OokamiAzura's picture

Silent...;; Silent, all of


Silent, all of you...thank you.

I guess I just...haven't been feeling like myself lately. I dunno, I just feel like everything's crumbling down around me, and it's hurting me a lot. Even those who I don't know have had issues in the past week or so that have thrown me off kilter.

Am I simply...too oversensitive..?
Reyy's picture

It sucks to feel trapped and

It sucks to feel trapped and to want to quit the very same thing that makes you happy.

I would take a small break, and if you can't leave, then play a different character that no one knows about.
Sometimes it helps to take a break with someone you know. It does good for the both of you.
I hope everything works out. (:
ocean's picture

Nah, I think a lot of stuff

Nah, I think a lot of stuff has been happening to everyone. For some of us, it's the end of the school year, everyone's stressed- things come to the surface that wouldn't if we weren't stressed. I know this can be true for me, at least.

I don't think it's you; I think it's just the time of the year. Smiling
I hope that whatever you decide helps. <3
Spirituelle's picture

Making one person happy will

Making one person happy will make another 100 mad.
You can never please everyone.
But do what you feel like doing.
Not to be blunt and/or rude, but just fuck the rest.

Take a break from the community site, or all of TEF in general.
Try just playing in forest, so you can find the beauty of the game again.
Like Ravynn mentioned, making a secret character would be a good idea too. Not one with a personality or a particular set, just a deer that you can do what you want to do with it.

I hope you feel better soon.
Drama can go fuck itself.

OokamiAzura's picture

Ravyn - I know. I hate that

Ravyn - I know. I hate that feeling so much.

I guess I could try that, it's just my connections haven't been the greatest, which makes me reluctant to switch one character out for another. Still, I suppose I could try it.

Thank you...(:

Ocean - I guess, I wouldn't be surprised either...bleh, I'm running out things to think...

Spirituelle - Well, the only thing is, Lacie is me. I do as I please with her. If I used a secret picto, they would just behave exactly like Lacie. It would be no different..

And yes, drama sucks ;;
Tally's picture

Yes but if it was a secret

Yes but if it was a secret picto no one would know who you are or judge you. c; You'd be surprised what good therapy a secret deer can be.
OokamiAzura's picture

I'm bad with secret pictos

I'm bad with secret pictos though, I really am. It doesn't take long for me to cave and admit it's me 8D;;
Spirituelle's picture

I see where you're coming

I see where you're coming from. And I'm terrible at secret pictos too ;-;
But it's really helpful. (:
OokamiAzura's picture

Yeah..doesn't help I don't

Yeah..doesn't help I don't have any spare pictos anymore...I just went and registered one, but I obviously can't touch it for a month ;;

We'll give it a month and see what happens..(:
Tally's picture

Theres nothing wrong with

Theres nothing wrong with being a fawn you know~

You can do whatever you want and no one bashes you for it. /shot
Spirituelle's picture

Tally... it's totally true.

Tally... it's totally true. D; /brick'd
Amazon's picture

-wink- xD


OokamiAzura's picture

Aha, that's true. It's

Aha, that's true. It's just...I can't stand playing as a fawn ><;;

I had no idea you were making

I had no idea you were making anybody feel anything but good happy feelings.

Now reading the comments, I agree, being anonymous is pretty fun c: And a fawn, too! Especially when you're an advanced player; then you have a LOT more freedom to do stuff and others kind of pay more attention to it. Like Tally said, fawns do get away with a lot xD; But that's a good thing.

I digress.
Um.. I don't know, I just like saying that. But I loooove you.
OokamiAzura's picture

It's mostly things that occur

It's mostly things that occur over MSN and the like. And to be honest, I know I've annoyed at least 1 or 2 people whom I've been ranting/venting to the last few weeks or so. My frustrations wear so thin.

I dunno, I just don't like playing as a fawn. I'd rather be an adult, with a set and whatnot.

I'm so vain >D

I love you too...<3..
Tally's picture

Yeah msn stuff is what ruined

Yeah msn stuff is what ruined me. It's the fact that so many people who are so close to me just don't even know how sensitive I really am under all this patience and smiles. :/

OokamiAzura's picture

Exactly. That's exactly how I

Exactly. That's exactly how I feel. I try to be as honest as I can, but sometimes, I have to keep my mouth shut. It's kinda frustrating really =/


Tally's picture



OokamiAzura's picture





Tally's picture



*storms out, dropping clipboard along the way*

jk. cx
OokamiAzura's picture

fkskfskfks HOW DID GET MY




fkskfsk I know <3


onyxsoulclaw's picture

Um dont worry about pee'ving

Um dont worry about pee'ving people off everyone should be able to take it after all it's life and you have the right as everyone else to vent. Im happy to be your stress ball if you need something to yell at. Just dont forget what a wonderful person you are and how much you mean to everyone here.
Lanithedeer's picture

I don't think you would have

I don't think you would have the heart to upset anyone. I don't remember you doing so.

If you think you need to leave, don't leave forever. Your welcome here and everyone will miss you when your gone. I think many players have had the urge to leave like you did, it's just something that happens to most forum players and such.

Your characters won't be affected if you leave them, but we will. But if you are THAT desperate to leave, you can... but promise us you won't FOREVER?! D:.

You seem like a caring person, even though I haven't known you for long. Your characters are friendly, and the player behind them is probably one of the most caring person I've met on this forum. Your lucky to be popular here, and have your topics read alot, unlike mine.

Even I had the urge to leave since I feel left out but I just go on with life and decide. Maybe you should do same.

Man, I fail at support DX.
I used to have an open mind... but my brains kept falling out.


Marriage is a relationship where one is the husband and the other is always right.
Freyja's picture

(No subject)

I don't know you very well, but I don't know many people at all on here
I hope you feel better soon :c

(No subject)


Even though I dont know you

Even though I dont know you very well at all, I hope it gets better and you decide something soon.

The same thing is happening with me on WolfQuest. I went away on holiday for two weeks, came back, and all my best friends on there barely went on there anymore. I've been sending them desperate messages, trying to organise a time to meet up, but they hardly go on there. I felt more lonely then I thought possible on one day, and that made me realise how much I had been depending on the internet and my 'friends' on there. After that, I've been trying to concentrate my life on other things.

(I apologise for that long lecture and story, lol)
POOH2004's picture

Please Recover!

Please Recover!
Bylah's picture

I'll say this: I left the

I'll say this: I left the comm site. I don't feel regret for that. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and I think for as good as people try to be, the huge amount of people here results in a great deal of drama that could probably be avoided - but people will be people.

This is a community filled, I would say, with 98% females ranging from 10-30. You get that much estrogen together, and you've got the makings of a huuuuuuuuuuuge shitstorm. No one does it on purpose, but there are few rules to this community, and people just say what they think and there are misunderstandings and the next thing you know, we're all wolves ripping people's throats out.

You don't have to leave the game, but maybe it would do you some good to just step away from the Comm Site - just DON'T come here - for a week or so. See how you feel after wards. Leaving this place has done so much to alleviate a lot of the stress I felt day to day. Before, I would check this place 20+ times A DAY. That's not healthy. That's obsessive. I found myself talking poorly about people who I don't know from Adam. That's not healthy either. If you can safely say that you spend at least 1 hour a day, griping in IMs to people about things you don't like about either a player, or something involving the Comm Site as a whole?

It's time to get away. Even if only temporarily.

You are the master of your own fate. Not a game, not a community. Reduce stress where you can, and your life will get better. Trust me on this one. I know.

OokamiAzura's picture

Gaah, I'm sorry for not

Gaah, I'm sorry for not responding to anyone...I honestly have had nothing to say..

L, your post is a bit of a surprise to me honestly. But I digress.

In all honesty, it's not just things from the Comm site. It's things that deer do in the game as well that sets me off. I could list a bunch of examples, but I won't. So I'd still be griping left and right about things.

In all honesty, I was thinking about "leaving" my main account and just ghosting around on a different account that no one knows. But now I'm thinking that won't work.

I dunno, I'm one of those that likes to come around and check, and perhaps find a gem in the dirt. It's hard for me to stop something cold turkey. And honestly, I know you might end up saying "Then quit the game for a while as well," but that's equally as hard honestly. Despite being miserable playing the game, there's a certain attachment there that I can't pull from. There are still some things in the game worth playing for. It's a matter of getting over a menagerie of personal issues first.

To me, Fate is something that can't be controlled. It controls you. You may think you have control, but you really don't. At least that's how I think.

Still, I do think I still have something thinking to do, and some issues to sort out.

Still...thank you, L. I never expected you to post anything here, but still.

Bylah's picture

Then you're not ready to

Then you're not ready to leave. You may be frustrated, you may be annoyed but trust me, when it gets to that point that you realize this place is doing more harm than good? You'll have no problems going cold turkey.

People do not change because they want to. They change because they have to, because the things that they're doing are harming them. It's like cigarettes. People quit smoking every day - and it's not because they want to. It's hard to quit something that's an addition, but it gets to that point that you realize it's either quit, or watch yourself deteriorate.

I enjoyed the comm site so much, but I started to see how badly it was effecting my day to day decisions. When I stopped coming here, I literally felt all the stress that this place caused just begin to melt away.

You'll know when you're ready, because you'll tell yourself, "I'm not doing this today," and you just won't have the urge, the desire to check the 'Recent Posts' page about a dozen times in 2 hours.

I understand what you mean, though - you're right in that it's not just the comm site. It's the game too. I quit that, too - because I got so tired of the BS. You can't do one without the other.