I woke up this morning to find that my body had changed. I feel magic stirring in my bones. I realize it has been a month since I was born. I think it is time to leave this place. I step into the light and I am not afraid. I am not a fawn anymore. I am not weak. I walk with a limp but I don’t care. I hold my head high. I reach the pond and drink from the cool clear water. It tastes amazing compared to the muddy puddle I have been drinking from. I see my reflection in the water and I am disturbed. I don’t want to look like this. I leave the pond. Later I see a group of deer gathered around a tree. I watch them cast spells on each other. This is what I want. It takes me a long time to reach them. My heart beats faster as I get closer. I remember what mother did when meeting other deer. I bow. No one bows back. I wait a moment and they ignore me. I don’t care. I push past them and cast a spell of my own. I am accepted and they continue casting. I feel my antlers bend and twist themselves into new shapes but none of them feel right. After some time I feel a new sensation. A new face! I see the caster run to another tree and I follow. I cannot tell if this is a doe or a buck. I decide it is a she. We cast new masks on each other. Suddenly I feel a great happiness well up inside me. This is the right mask. I nuzzle my new friend. We relish in the joy of this beautiful day. My new friend wants me to follow. I can’t keep up. She is confused and tries to imitate my limp. This is hurtful but I know she means well. We find a way to walk together and she leads me to a group of deer. They nuzzle her and I bow to them. This time they bow back. The group begins to prance in circles around me. I try to jump a few times but it hurts and I stop. The others look surprised when they see the way I walk. They laugh. My friend leads me away. We walk to the pond and she lies down. I lie next to her and fall asleep.

Meh. I don´t know exactly why, but I have been very tired recently. I haven´t had inspiration or energy to do much anything, art nor roleplay (which is bad, I used to play all the time o_O ). As everyone probably knows, this kind of phases are highly annoying, so I thought to ask if people had some tricks in their sleeves against these damn blocks.
What do you do when you have art/writing block?
Want to suggest an inspiring/fun movie/book/music/something else?
Maybe this could help me and other people suffering of the same "condition". =)

For my answer, movie-nerd as I am, I like to watch movies trying to gather some inspiration. The most inspiring movies I can think of are probably Princess Mononoke and Pan´s Labyrinth, but somehow I also enjoy of The Neverending story and such old fantasy movies. I listen music too, and have my mp3-player stuffed mostly with Susumu Hirasawa, Disturbed and Poets of the fall. It might have even worked, I actually got myself to paint again a bit listening music... <3

I just felt like saying a huge 'Thank You' to everyone who's sent me fanart lately

I love each and every one of them. I didn't ask for any (except Trigger's), but it seems they keep coming (lol) and they are all pleasant suprises that I absolutely adore. <3

Love you all









(If I've missed any, let me know!)

I'll delete this later..

Today Bilaiyal met the most adorable little fawn. :] If anyone knows the name of him/her I would appreciate it. :3


He felt like such a Daddy and ended up watching the little one play around and even began to get a bit protective as an unnamed deer kept approaching without a proper bow or any sign of respect.



Bilaiyal wanted to apologize to the fawn for leaving so suddenly, he did his best to say farewell but was unsure if the message got across. :x He is also in the process of finding a suitable appearance still, so if you see him about... feel free to plaster him with forest magic. ;3

I posted this on her bio, but I thought I would throw this up here to avoid any confusion XD

Ran more repairs.
Removed a ton of programs including TEF (I had two copies apparently? Going to reinstall soon)

Mouse stopped working.
Reinstalling and trouble shooting new mouse problem.
Running a de-frag over night.

Fixed! A-ok everything is good!

I actually first got my account on this game nearly two years ago (back in early 2008).
I tried it out and was enchanted, but didn't have any friends with an interest, so it fell by the wayside.

That seems to have changed today, and so here I am-- quite possibly at a point where the last thing I need is another hobby.

On the other hand, I definitely need an excuse to draw more deer, so I win in the end anyway!
I imagine this will, if anything, fill with sketches and doodles of my and my friend's characters.

Chances are you won't see my original and titular stag terribly often; I'm keeping this account so I have something to test things I need an adult for, but I'll be playing on my new one, Dreamscar, almost always.

He, for the record, has the greatest pictograph ever.
\o/


(To you Valenth players on the site... hi! )

I don't know why I'm posting this here, really, but I guess it's because I don't blog anywhere else and my dA feels a bit...public, lol. Just rambling, not really important to anyone but me. Also yes I am a crazy girl who talks to herself.

I need to get out of this "ZOMGTEFDURRSTEFDURRS" stage. (Should be pronounced "tef-durrs". Like it's spelled.) I know that's why my dA gallery is suffering - it's all I draw. I love Tuna, Oz, Pan, and Crusty Old Man, yes, but I need to give them a rest. Isn't it time I started kicking my creative side in the ass, anyways? It's been a long time. So yeah. Get off the couch and make some characters, woman. Who gives two shtis if your friends think they're weird, they're never gonna find out.

And did I mention you're not pushing yourself? Not at all. That ego boost from the "skilled young artist" thing has made you lazy as Phillip Hoffman. Improve improve improoooove. Draw every day. Stop putting it off to tool around on TEF - that's screwing with your school stuff, too, what the hell? There isn't even that much interesting stuff here anymore. (Don't kick me, I have a crowbar.) So yes. draw draw draw. Oh, and remember that art book that was publiched in liek the 40's sitting under your desk? It was a damn sight helpful when you read it, so try reading it again.

Also, SRO. What the hell happened to that retryout. Six months is too long, man. :\

Current goal: Get good enough for that one website. Yeah, you remember the one I'm talking about. C: It's a long ways off, so GET ON THE ROAD ALREADY, DAMMIT.

Love,
Pan.

HAHA no I lied. c8

Amazon adores you. ♥