Storm in the quiet | Altair's Journal

TheFlyer's picture
Disclaimer Altair's entries are recorded on his phone through a voice app. Each word is his own true spoken thought, and therefore will contain some pretty foul language and dark themes.

Recorded on 07/15/2019:"Holy fuckin' helllll man.... I can barely even believe what fuckin' happened. I was minding my own damn business, cooking some fuckin' pasta on the day Jae gave me as his likely arrival, so I left my door un-goddamn-locked. I hear a knock. I call 'Come in!' like the idiot I am. Surprise! It's not Jae, it's my fucking parents!" [Muffled thump following by frustrated yells and curses, then a pause] "It was the worst situation I could imagine. I love my Mum, but Dad was there too and it just.... I was reprimanded for pretty much everything. Nonstop hatred and name-calling. Dad finds my alcohol and smashes it everywhere, my hundreds of fuckin' dollars worth, and when I start to argue, he hits me. And then... Drumroll" [Muffled drumming] "Jae shows up. I fuckin' wish I could have seen the look on my dad's face. I'm sure he damn near pissed himself. I don't need to have workin' eyes to know that Jae is scary lookin'. Devilishly handsome, I'm sure. But big, thick, and with this energy that just... commands your attention the moment he steps into a room. Needless to say Dad cleared out pretty quick. I haven't seen him since, and I've been basically begging Jae to stay close for a while so I don't have to worry about him coming back. I assume him and Mum went back to Egypt. Who knows. There were some drugs, some flirting, and a whole bunch of alcohol after that. I never imagined Jae of all people, would meet my Dad. I'm kinda lucky he did though cause he might have saved my life...? Not that I'm gonna tell him that. Bastard's head is big enough already."

Recorded on 06/17/2019:"What a month it's been. I've had a few trips to the doctor... Routine stuff, eye exams to make sure my scarring doesn't get worse or start to irritate my eye sockets or whatever. Blood tests. Still anemic! What a surprise! My doctor gave me the usual spiel about getting enough to eat, but honestly, fuck her. She doesn't get it. She at least refilled my prescriptions though, so I went to pick those up today. No change in dosage, just the same shit. But I guess it's been working fine. Um..." [Prolonged silence] "Oh! Haven't heard from Mum or anyone in a while. Which is strange since it's usually every few weeks or so. Especially after my appointments. Kind of worried, but I don't wanna contact them first. Fuckin' anxiety. In other news, Jae is supposedly coming by this week. Might have saved some good weed from last time Lark and I hung out, and bought some really good whiskey. Am I trying to impress him? Pshhhh... Nah.... Maybe. Fuck me."

Recording 1, recorded on 04/09/2019: "Is it a bad idea to catch feelings for someone who could kill me? I mean, I don't think he will since he's had countless chances and hasn't yet... But I guess he could be waiting. Growing my trust first....." [Audible sigh] "What the fuck. This is not what I wanted to say." [Pause] "Jae took me to Amnula. It was.... It was awesome, but also kind of fucked up. But I guess I expected that. I mean, that place birthed Jae, and he's.... I'm not really a great judge of fucked up though. I'm a mess so. Anyway. Amnula. It smelled so strange. Like.... Chlorine sort of. And so fresh. The forest is sort of... Fuzzy smelling. And New York is putrid. Amnula smelled magical. like nowhere I've ever been. I chased him, and then we chased some sort of deer creatures, and then one of them got killed by something. Jae didn't tell me what it was but I have a good feeling it was horrifying. To me at least. Jae is pretty familiar with death from what I can tell. I used to not fear death, and openly welcome it. Things changed. I grew up. I don't exactly fear it now, but I certainly don't feel inclined to kill myself. I can thank the forest for that. I'm getting so off topic. This recording is gonna be so fuckin' long."

Recording 2, recorded on 04/09/2019: "A'ight. Got myself some crisps and some water. So. Amnula. Jae. Um, so like, I know that I have a thing for "bad boys". Cause Julian. He was a dick though. Jae isn't a dick. He's fun and he teases a lot, but I can tell he means well. Being around him is almost like.... Addictive. I don't know. It's weird. I got very comfortable, very fast. I'm not even comfortable letting my mom touch me, for fuck's sake. But it's just... Different. I sound like a shitty young adult novel synopsis. So I guess this means I've got a crush. Which is fun. How can I not when he's so damn affectionate? Not to mention his voice. And he's warm. And he doesn't treat me any different just cause I'm blind. He doesn't assume I'm incapable of things. That's a rare trait to find in people these days, like fuck. In other news, Spring Rally started yesterday. Met up with Larkspur and ran around a bit. He's the most pure little shit. Being around him is addictive too, in a different way. It's like you can't help but have your spirits lifted. He makes me feel like a good person, which is just fucked. I smelled Jae pass us by, which made it very hard to not chase him. He was with someone though, so I left him be. Eventually though I couldn't resist. Let me tell you, I could not fucking find him for the life of me. I could smell him. He was in the river." [Audible sigh] "I hate water. So that was fun. Basically just screamed at him from the safety of the river bank and ran away again. I don't even know if he noticed me. Senpaiiiii." [Cackling laughter] "Anyway. Convinced Lark to come scream at the giant, scary, wolf demigod with me. He seemed just a little reluctant. Just a little. But it happened anyway. Pretty successful first day of the rally, I'd say. There's plenty more friends I'd like to see. The rally has this awesome energy. It's exciting, but not crazy, more just.... I dunno. It feels nice. Kind of like a giant family." [Pause] "Well. End scene, I guess. Curtain."

Recorded on 03.10.2019
"List of things I enjoyed while traveling. By far my favourite was the touch museum in Athens. You're not very often allowed to touch art, so it was super cool to actually get to touch replicas of some pretty famous pieces.
Also Hamilton. Fuck yeah. Best show ever. But I saw that in NYC so I guess it wasn't really part of my travels.
Visited Grandma and Grandpa in Liverpool. They hadn't seen me since I was little so they were real happy. Grandma made me this vegetarian pot pie and it was hella delicious. They asked about Mom a lot, but I haven't seen her in so long that I couldn't really keep up."
[rustling blanket sounds followed a yawn]
"The forest is still the same as I remember it. A lot sleepier though, which is both nice and shitty. Nice because I'm not being constantly pestered or some shit, but it's kinda.... Lonely? Yeah. I don't know. It seems like everyone for the most part has someone. I've met a few new deer who were pretty cool and ran around with me or let me sit with them.
And.... Well. We'll get into that can of worms another time cause I'm fucking tired and I need a smoke."

:eyes: ♥

:eyes: ♥



ive arrived

ive arrived

Sig: Aihnna

wormwoods's picture

Track! Love the setup of

Track! Love the setup of this.

Formerly ocean.