In the deepest parts of the forest, the dense tree canopy looms stories overhead, letting through only the brightest of sunlight. It filters among the leaves casting the forest floor in dapples of green and yellow. Where it cannot reach, seeps depths of blue and purple. This is a lush forest, abounding with life, dense foliage; plants of all kinds thrive, tucked away in the hidden places, in the fractured rocks tangled among the tree roots, in the crook of a deeply cracked bark, under the fallen tree…treasures of all sorts. Treasures to heal, to ease suffering. To serve others. For a medicine doe, all that was needed could be found here.

The small black doe, with bright markings and a vibrant plumage of colorful feathers adorning her crown, moved effortlessly through the dense growth, bounding soundlessly over the large tree roots, delicate thin legs carrying her easily. Petite blue hooves hardly touching the mossy forest floor as she moved with easy grace among the ferns and between the tree trucks. The doe came to a pause in a sun dappled clearing, the sound of larks singing in the bows over head. A long arched neck, raised her plumed head up, scarlet eyes peering into the darkness ahead where the forest grows even thicker, blocking light from entering. She felt drawn to this. Not with a sense of foreboding. It’s not sinister. But she must go.

Into the darkness she walked, slowly then, choosing her steps with care. The bird song growing more distant. But life still lived here. A bullfrog croaked. Crickets chirped. She had reached a dark clearing then and heard a rustling among the branches overhead. Looking up she saw a large raven, gripping the rough bark of a tree limb, its light grey eyes piercing in the darkness and peering at her with an intelligent gleam. She did not start when it cawed harshly in the way of ravens, for she knew this black feathered being. “Hello, Woden,” she said easily. Her mentor. In response, the large bird ruffled its feathers, unfolded its wings and dropped into the air in a line of descent toward her. But the bird was no longer a bird, but a dark brown stag, that landed on the mossy ground, taking a few steps on cloven hooves before coming to rest a few bounds from the black doe. A skulled head turned to face her, lit from within by an orange glow, a light that swirled across the features of the being’s face in symbols that shifted and changed. The more one tried to see them, the quicker they changed, eluding inspection. A massive crown of antlers spread from the being’s head, like branches of a tree, and sprouting, twisting among them were vines, and leaves and flowers that, like the symbols etched on the skulled face, twisted and grew before her eyes, making it difficult to capture them, her vision sliding off them and refusing to focus. Life surrounds the creature, with every footfall, a small wave of greenery erupted, vines coiled out, leaves unfolded, and flowers bloomed. The stag stood then before her, filling the space, far larger than his visual size should allow, glowing orange sockets considering her kindly. She gave a doe bow to the Fay and the being responded with an inclination of his skulled head, symbols swirling more slowly about his features then. She waited for him to speak.

”Herla of the Endless Forest,”

he spoke, his deep voice filling her with a sense of calmness and ease.
”You have heard my summons and come. It is time for you to meet them.”



The doe’s brow rose questioningly at his statement, uncertain what he meant. She didn’t notice at first the light beginning to spread in the depths of the forest behind Woden, it seeped gradually like the light from the sun as it rises above the horizon. But this came from within the forest itself, like no sun could, a light that blossomed forth, gradually increasing in intensity until like the sun, she could not look directly at it and had to shield her eyes beneath the veil of her lashes. The bright yellow light danced as if alive, like the light that played across the Fay’s face and the plants that sprung whereever his hooves touched down. Light moved and undulated among the large tree trunks and as she peered into it, she saw the shapes only marginally more solid then the light they are bathed in. Three figures stood there, deer like beings, ephemeral, glowing brightly from within, their forms shifting and wavering. They didn’t touch the forest floor, but floated above it. Massive. Power and force emanated from them and when their faces turned as one to look down upon her, she found herself falling back from them despite herself. Woden forgotten, she did not notice him again until he stepped toward her.

”Strength, Herla,”

he said gently and she stoped her retreat. She raised her head and stepped toward them now, Woden then falling to her side and slightly behind her. She cast him a glance and he directed her with his gaze ahead of him,
”The Gray Lords,”

he said and lowered his gaze in respect. The doe stepped forward and bowed deeply before rising shakily to her feet. She said nothing. Could say nothing. She could only wait. The Gray Lords. Lords of the Fay, the most powerful and old among them, those that remembered. The aged. The terrible. A tremble passed through her. Had they come to sanction her? To bind her? To punish her for her transgressions? For using a power that was forbidden her? Desperation began to flood through her. She had locked the darkness away, beaten it, hadn’t she? Why would they come now?


“Be still child,”

they spoke as one, in a single voice she felt deep within her chest. And she was still for it was a command. She cast her eyes down,
“You have overcome, and that is why we have called you here. Look up now, child, and come forward,”

this too was a command and her entire being obeyed. She stepped forward.

And out of her body.

Looking down at herself, she brought hands to her face. Human hands. She knew easily what that was then, remembering fully everything about herself. She looked up at the glowing beings that floated above her, before turning back to look at the doe, who stood staring past her, large liquid scarlet eyes blinking softly. Reaching out a hand towards her, she stopped. Hesitated. And pulled back.

“You can touch her.”

It was Woden now, stepping forward to stand beside the girl woman.

“Does she know me?” she asked, reaching out her hand again, this time laying it on the doe’s head, who still stared ahead unseeing. At her touch, the doe closed her eyes and leaned into the touch though remained unaware of the woman standing before her.


“She will. She is you. But right now she is in a dream state awaiting your return.”



The girl woman ran her hand through the brightly colored feathers, “She has surpassed me.”


“Yes, she has. She had more time. She is what you could have become.”



“I was never given the chance.”


“No, you were not,”

he said. There was no pity in his voice. He was simply stating fact.

“What is this?” she asked touching now the glowing symbol that floated over the does’ head, pulsing as if alive. It flowed into her palm and she brought it closer to her face to inspect it.


“Her essence essentially,”

he said and at his words, she handled it even more carefully lest she somehow damage it.


“It is strong,”

he told her.
” “Strong enough for both of you. Return it now.”



She did as he said letting it flow back to the doe. And as she did so, more glowing symbols flowed out around them, hovering in the air. All different. Pulsing with life. Connected by gossamer thin threads to the does’ picto. Some glowed stronger than others, tied closely to the doe, their threads woven into braids, into something stronger than each individual thread on their own. Other symbols spread out further seeming almost out of site, and were very faint, their threads tattered or torn altogether. The girl woman reached out to touch the brighter symbols, the strongest ones that were tied closely to the doe. They felt warm and their glow brightened momentarily beneath her fingers. “She is stronger because of them.”


“Yes, and they will be strong enough for you now too. For both of you.”



“Will it hurt her?”


“Yes. But she needs to be whole. So you both can grow. It is the entire reason. It will come to her softly in dreams and visions.”



“I’m frightened.”


“I know. Go back now. She was never meant to be without you.”



The girl returned to the doe, the doe awakening then as if from a long dream. Blinking into the bright light, she looked up into…the sun. She stood then in a clearing, the sun’s rays feeling warm on her face.

And she was white, her pelt bleached like a bone by the sun. A parting gift from The Gray Lords to speed her on her journey.