I don't mean to rant or complain...

Zergarikiaka's picture
But c'mon...

Lately I've been feeling... Dunno, mostly forgotten, or invisible. There's a select few that still talk to me and stay close, but most people seem to be generally not-there. I mean, I've tried a few things to stay part of the community - Drawing people's deer as aliens, trying to hold a contest (Which only one person participated in! *dies*), interracting in forest (and mostly not recognising others anymore), and trying to RP when I have time, among those things. Even including others in stories, which I've mostly stopped writing since poeple don't seem to read them anymore or care to interract with my characters or keep them around. I don't know what people want anymore.
Now, my B-day just passed, and I did flag a statement that it was coming ahead of time, but the only response to that was people just saying 'happy b-day' on that one thread, and leaving it at that...

Yet other people with days in the same week get fanart and in forest parties.
I hate to complain or sound jealous, but I've been here a few years and wonder why I don't get nearly the same response. It kind of hurts, and I do feel a bit left out.

Seriously, I'm starting to wonder if I'm even still wanted around, of if anyone beside a very select few would notice if I dissappeared.

I'm sorry, I just don't know if I stand anywhere anymore. Its a bit selfish I guess, but it's been a long time that this feeling of abandonment has been over my head and I've been silent about it until now.

I'm sorry you feel that way

I'm sorry you feel that way Zerg, I hate to hear people say they feel left out on TEF. Sad
Other than that I don't really know what to say..
Zergarikiaka's picture

It's ok Tera. No need for

It's ok Tera. No need for appologies. <3

Bah, it's still sad to hear.

Bah, it's still sad to hear.
Verycrazygirl's picture

I miss hanging out with you.

I miss hanging out with you. :c

I feel every bit of empathy

I feel every bit of empathy possible to your situation. I feel very bad about this, and really wish you didn't feel like this <3

Unfortunately, I don't think my words are a good consolation but just let it be known that you are still known, still loved <3 (:
Zergarikiaka's picture

I miss hangin' with yua too,

I miss hangin' with yua too, VCG.
Thx Crimson.
kovah's picture

I know how you feel sometimes

I know how you feel sometimes though I haven't been on as long as you, some people and characters just do get more attention for whatever reason. If you could figure out why people gravitate to them then you would probably be very rich from writing a book on how to be popular.

I think your problem is that you aren't on this site for YOU anymore, you are constantly thinking 'what do people want so they will take an interest in me and my characters.' You can do fan art or writing, or comment until you are blue in the face but if you are not satisfied with who you are and what you are doing in some ways people pick that up and their attention wanders elsewhere.

With stuff like birthdays - especially on this site where stuff can get knocked off the front pages within minutes you have to really put it out there, small hints in posts will either get lost or be forgotten quickly (you have to remember that there is a lot of life going on outside of the internet. If you want a forest party you start it yourself and invite people make a big deal of it.

Annefleur87's picture

I think I don't know you but

I think I don't know you but I know this feeling. I had it on my first days in the forest, I felt alone.
Oke it's not the same, but I think I know how you are feeling at the moment. But I hope you will just have fun here. I can understand that you are a little bit jalous when people have big partys in the forest and you get just a few words. But words can mean alot and I don't think everyone gets a big party on their birthday in the forest!!

I think you are a really sweet and nice person and I hope you will feel better soon. Cause I dont think that there are people in the forest who are NOT welcome there!

Sorry for my bad English, I hope my message is clear! Smiling
*... and life is beautiful this way*
Seele's picture

Man, I feel bad you feel that

Man, I feel bad you feel that way ._. though I -fully- understand! I wish I had drawn you something, maybe I still can! But it's not quite the same ofcourse. I do really like you, you're a great person in this community. We don't meet a lot in-forest since our timezones clash a lot, but I've seen a lot from you here and the times we did meet were really nice <33 I do understand how you feel and why it makes you feel that way, and I think you're totally right.
I do agree quite with Kovah here, some wise words there.
Pegasicorn's picture

I think kovah has worded it

I think kovah has worded it perfectly.
I do have an idea I wanna draw, but *flails* it has to do with a certain event and I wanted to save it for that. D8
Sonata's picture

I still track you, I just get

I still track you, I just get shy around older players ;-;
but you can always talk to meeeee<3
Kaoori's picture

Of course you're wanted here.

Of course you're wanted here. And I read all your stories. I was honored to be included in them. <3
I almost miss Wesker's/Darkweaver's rivalry.. a lot. It stirred up things.. and kept us all.. well, kind of close.
ocean's picture

*snug* I'm sorry you feel

*snug*
I'm sorry you feel that way. <3 I know we haven't been in contact lately...
I think I'm caught up on all your stories -- I just may not have commented. >.<
Maybe things will get better again in the summer. I dunno...

Zerg, just for the few times

Zerg, just for the few times I've talked to you you seem like an amazing person, and it seems we have a lot in common too. :3 I know exactly what you mean when it comes to players who get a lot of attention vs, those who don't. I don't understand it. I used to think it was because the popular people could draw really well... that isn't always the case.

Whatever the psycology behind it, it doesn't matter.
Half the popular people are questionable in motive (among other things), and I-- personally-- don't want to be looked at like that, or be a part of that. Being under the radar has its advantages. <3

We all love you, and I would miss you if you left. :3
Pretzil's picture

I know how you feel now. It

I know how you feel now. It sort of that I'm-Just-gonna-go-fade-away-and-smash-my-invisible-face-into-my-pillow-and-hope-someone-might-notice-I'm-ditching-school-even-though-I-highly-doubt-they-will... D:
Seed's picture

I have that feeling all the

I have that feeling all the time; and there's not much to be done about it, I don't think...just do what you want, and others may like it. Or something.

*huggles*

Quote:I think your problem is

Quote:
I think your problem is that you aren't on this site for YOU anymore, you are constantly thinking 'what do people want so they will take an interest in me and my characters.' You can do fan art or writing, or comment until you are blue in the face but if you are not satisfied with who you are and what you are doing in some ways people pick that up and their attention wanders elsewhere.

Quoted for truth.


I would like to do things for everyone's birthdays, but #1, I usually don't know about it ahead of time or at least not enough to get anything done, #2 most of the time I wouldn't know what to do and #3, even if I had an idea I'd most likely never get it done, seeing as I hardly finish stuff I start anymore. And right now I have other things I need to be working on. But I always feel kinda bad about not doing anything when I find out about someone's birthday, or some other occasion.

I didn't even know you tried to hold a contest, I guess I missed it somehow.

Why some people get a lot of attention, and others who are equally deserving, or possibly even more so in some cases, don't get much attention, it's hard to say. I guess there's a lot of different reasons. It doesn't mean that you're not worth it or not liked.

I know what it's like to feel invisible, I used to feel like that a lot. There were times when I thought no one would notice if I just disappeared, except maybe for a few people. Of course, I never did much to change that, but then social anxiety and depression made it so I basically couldn't.

Anyway, I realized that it doesn't really matter if the world knows who I am or not. What matters is the people I'm close to, that they know who I am, and that they care about me. So what if you don't have a bunch of people drawing things for you all the time. You still get more fan art than I do, but that's never bothered me.
Aegle's picture

God Zerg, What the hell can

God Zerg,
What the hell can I say? I know I'm one of them. I'm sorry. I promise, I'm not trying to forget anyone. I'm just beyond being over-whelmed. I felt this way too, its actually a large reason why I have disappeared. I never felt appreciated for anything, all I did was get beat up for my characters actions and my failure to notice how intrusive I was. You know for you Birthday, I was going to do something...It's just finals week. I'm so busy, and I'm sorry I can't be here more.
You know I love you art and stories. They are all so wonderful in my eyes. Its not that I would ever flip over one of your posts, I hope you know that. Its just I'm never here to see them. I feel like beating the shit out of myself for this.
There really is nothing that I can do, but say I'm sorry. I do care about you and all you do here. I hope you at least know that somewhere in the back of your mind. <3

Kiraki's picture

I guess I mostly agree with

I guess I mostly agree with what kovah and everyone else has said so far. I kinda know what you mean, if I got more than 5 replies to anything i posted that is probably a lot lol, but it doesn't really bother me because I'm here to have fun and you so should you be. I remember seeing a lot of stuff posted by you when I first joined as well but it has kinda scaled down lately, maybe because it becomes a chore instead of a pleasure?

You are half right in what you were trying to do though I think, people like to be acknowledged, and trying to do that might help make people notice you more but you have to do be able to do that for basically everyone, which in all honesty I think is not only really tricky, but a hell of a lota work and effort. You really have to put yourself out there and that can be kinda draining. Basically what I'm trying to say is while your feeling down is probably not the best time to try and do that really.

Just have fun with what your doing and screw it what everyone else thinks. People pick up on good vibes and once you are happy and having fun again I am sure things will work themselves out somewhere along the line.
Zergarikiaka's picture

In truth it's not the

In truth it's not the forefront of my mind to be noticed, and I do still come here to try and have fun... but Kiraki is right. It did become a chore after a while, instead of the pleasure it used to be. At points I had started to think there were those who stalked me characters in forest just to be featured in that writing, and once I stopped (due to being overwhelmed by life and nothing interesting happening in forest anymore), those people proved they just wanted to be featured by just dissappearing from radar. Those that I suspected wanted to be around me just to have fun and RP, continued to be around, which deserves luff. Extra love to those like Aegle, Pega, Paz, CM, Seed, Raz, Trinket, Kaoori, VCG, Rowan, ect... Those who always make me feel welcome and loved.

I still come here every day, and want to have fun when I'm here, but I don't have the time I used to have. Especially when my life got really busy between work and college. Tough thing is that when I'm in forest now, I don't recognise all that many anymore, and a lot of these new deer don't even try to interract with me. I'm sorry for sounding selfish, but yua know it's natural to want to feel included without having to jump threw flaming hoops to do it. It's not that I want to be nessessarilly popular... just noticed. Honestly it kind of hurts to think people believe I'm only around to be noticed or popular. Far from it. It's just hard to have fun when you can't find someone to have fun with.

Far as b-days go, I don't like to make a big deal out of them. Heck, I hate my b-days (since they're usually dissappointing in the end). I guess mostly I look for maybe a suprise in the sense that there might be someone who can make that dissappointment dissappear.


@Anne: Thanks. ^^ And your english isn't bad at all.

@Seele: Aww, please don't feel bad over it. Mostly I had to vent, since it's kind of been a while since I've felt all that included around TEF. I'm glad you understand though. <3

@Pega: *Clings to* Yeah, that needs to be saved. 8] As a side note: *cling* You're epic.

@Sonata: <3 Aww, y' don't need to be shy around me. XD I don't bite.

@Kaoori: OH GOSH I miss that rivalry. It just doesn't seem to be open ground to act on anymore. Frankly, I think Darkweaver's gotten boring since he stopped fighting Wesker. It did keep us close, I agree. Maybe they do need to fight again. Meanwhile, it means a lot to still get to hang out with you in forest. *clingy*

@Ocean: Maybe we can get back in contact for the summer. I miss yua.

@CM: <3 83 I love yua too, and would miss so many people if I left. Yua know, you're really right. It's weird how some people are just so well known and getting tons of art thrown at them, yet there are those who try to give, and can't get three people to look at them, when they deserve it.
As a random note: The phantom of the opera is there, inside our minds. XD

@Pretzil: Lol, that's a good way to put it. XD

@Seed: My gosh, you're one of those who really deserves a mountain of luff and arts. You're one of the nicest people around, and you've always been so much fun to be around. Heck, I miss seeing you in forest too, in the worst way. *cling hug*

@Amary: Yeah, I held a contest like a week after Kaoori's 'make kaoori evil' contest. That was a while back... And you're very right yourself. All that does matter is the people we're close to. <3 LOVE FOR YOU. *pounce hug*

@Aegle: Nuooo, no appologies. *Cling* I understand completely; You're busy with life too.Don't be hard on yourself. <3 You're another person I love, even one of my top favorite people, and hope to see around again at some point, especially when life calms down again.


Seed's picture

...my brain just remembered

...my brain just remembered what I always say when it comes to some forms of suffering, and I think this is one of them: It's not about deserving. Because you deserve better than you get -- a lot of us do. I'm not saying that the people who get a lot of attention don't deserve it -- just that whether or not they deserved it was not a factor.

I miss seeing you around, too. (I'm also still hoping to bring Faris back one of these days, as an aside.)

Also, I'm trying to find an answer to my own problem of not recognizing newer deer. I've yet to come up with an answer, but when I do, I'll let you know.
Redkora's picture

I know I'm late to the party,

I know I'm late to the party, but I'll chime in anyway.

Zerg (if you don't mind my calling you that), I know how you feel. I have been in the same boat for almost two years out of the three I've been here. At first, it really bit the big one, and it still sucks sometimes. I was here when TEF still had a small user community, and at that time, everyone knew everyone else for the most part. When someone posted, everyone noticed. That just isn't possible in a larger community, and it's nothing personal. People just do not have the time to see everyone's posts.

However, I think Kovah put it perfectly when she said that there comes a point when we're not here for ourselves, but for other people. It's okay to be a little self-serving and just be here, the forums, or in the Forest for your own personal enjoyment. That's what this interactive medium was made for! Michael and Auriea not only wanted to see how people interact, but they want people to enjoy themselves. I think that gets lost in the social dynamics that form when communities get larger.

So, enjoy yourself! Don't worry about what other people think. I understand it's much easier said than done, though.
[pixel deer by Aldebaran]
AnimaSoul's picture

Yeah, I know how you feel.

Yeah, I know how you feel. It's unjust to throw birthday parties for some and not all, but that's the way it is. I think that, to feel better about it. You've got to really look hard at the few comments you are getting routinely and be happy for them, because I think that as long as even one person comments, you've done well. As for no one commenting, that. THAT is depressing *nods* Anyway. My two cents are never worth two cents so, never pay for my advice.
The Soul Of Souls
Redkora's picture

*nuzzle* http://endlessfores

*nuzzle*

http://endlessforest.org/community/zergarikiaka-4
[pixel deer by Aldebaran]