I woke knowing this day would... not be a good day...
I wandered, hither about...
...so alone...




I found Miss Cirrus, laying in a bright patch of goldenrod... Slumbering so peacefully, warmed by the sun...



I wondered if I could approach her, a friend... but... I was afraid... Why?... Afraid of a friend?...
...ridiculous...it hadn't been like this before... before I saw the- nevermind...
Yes, I was alone.

I ran about madly, trying to shake off this good-for-nothing feeling, but alas...



...tears ran down my face...



Good-for-nothing. Yes, I.

See how I am alone. See how no familiar faces greet me, warm me, comfort me... make me smile, make me laugh...

Smiling, laughing?... It all seems so far away, now... All that's left are dusty memories...

Memories... Memories! Smiles, nuzzles! Dancing and leaping, frolicking in the grass! Bright lights, happy sounds, soft voices, gentle touches!...
...fading...



I wandered aimlessly... no destination, no purpose...
...a hermit... a waif, a flicker of mist...
There was no Riptail today, sitting by his tree...



I found a sleeping stag, laden with candles, in the long grass...



Seeking something, anything, I approached. Perhaps I could lay quietly beside the stag, and have what warmth he could give...
He shuddered and woke. I fled.



...blurs around me... voices rushing by...

Paavo? Is that you?...no... a clump of grasses... the sun, a trickster...

...so alone...

...perhaps they have left me alone for a reason... for I am wicked... cowardly... afraid to approach any, now even ones I know. That is cowardly, is it not?...
And with I being a coward, I cause hurting... suffering... Those I love feel pain when I shy away...

Surely... I am nothing but a burden...

I was the burden that caused my parents to die.



And look, look how easily I cried. A weakling, a pitiful lump of a doe... Even now my cheeks were wet, and the ground stained blue...

I returned to where Miss Cirrus was... She now sat upright, pelt golden for some reason. Odd...
I waited nearby, wishing she would stand and greet me, just wishing and wishing for something...



...I gave up quickly...

A stag, proud and intimidating, strode some distance away... I watched him fade into the distance...



I fled again into the Birches, running in circles, trying to be strong...
...when I was not...



My eyes blurred. I closed them, dropping to my knees, mind weak and reeling from it all. Overwhelmed, I fell and curled up to sleep, the pitiful, wicked, cowardly little creature I am...



Hania? Is that you? I can feel you beside me... pressed against me... warm and comforting and always there for me, quiet as you are... I miss you very much, you know... I always wish you could stay with me forever... I remember your nuzzles, every single one of them...

... Perhaps it's about time to tell you I love you...

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