2016, in my opinion, has been dictated by an entitled and self-serving attitude that makes me feel bitter about pretty much everything about the world I live in. All the negative noise seems much louder than the positive and the good, but from what I've experienced this year personally... it's not so much that it's louder, it's that we consciously choose to listen to it over everything else. There's this desire to go out of our way and do one of two things: to argue and to prove it - whatever it is - wrong, or, to take it to heart and retreat. I did the latter for years.

As some of you may or may not know, I lost my job suddenly last Christmas and was forced into taking the scary step into the self-employed world of Graphic Design. Did I know what I was doing? Haha no of course not, nobody really does. But as soon as I did it, looking back on the choices I made to avoid doing anything to do with my uni qualification suddenly became very clear. I chose to listen to the very few people who spoke negatively of me and my work at University and gradually, ever so slowly... I stopped drawing. I stopped collecting adverts and wanting to buy books of logos to look at, I stopped doodling, I stopped everything. Every drawing I did decide to make became hard, even commissions. My mother has her own business and I've always been in charge of her branding, and even that became hard. I would suddenly have a short temper and snap at her for asking me to do things that were well within my ability. There are other effects to, and I'm still working through this type of anxiety now that I understand it.
But essentially I began to hate the industry because of the - in hindsight - few stupid comments and put downs I received from my peers who were just shitty human beings. But for some reason, I cared about what they thought, and didn't care so much about LITERALLY EVERYONE TELLING ME I WAS GOOD AT SOMETHING.

Looking back now, I feel so stupid.