May 12, 2010 - 4:01pm — Seed
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Last night started out...oddly. I was sitting alone for a while when Saosin showed up. He bowed, and I bowed back. Then he sniffed me and gave me a nuzzle, and offered to sit next to me by the riverbank. I have never much cared for Saosin -- he and I have, in the past, had less-than-pleasant encounters before. But, given that he is close to Nevilly, and that I have no serious grudge against him, I've always made it a point to be civil, and I've always felt he probably felt the same way. Other than a brief greeting the other day, this is really the first not group-motivated gesture of friendship he's offered me, or I him. As odd as it was, it also felt very nice. I've been feeling rather lonely since I got back; I haven't really seen anyone. I had been hoping Scape would arrive, or someone, but was actively planning on just sitting there, and was probably just going to end up feeling sorry for myself. If I had sat there on my own, I likely would have starting thinking very foolish, self-indulgent things. Things I know enough of the shape of to take a stab, but I'd feel awful saying and knowing that anyone, even people who would have no understanding of what I was saying, would read it. It was very nice, having him sit beside me. I think I see a bit more of what many of my friends see in him, which is nice on its own. I think that if things continue this way, we can be friends.
Then Scape arrived, waking up a little quicker than he usually does. I asked Saosin to excuse me as I went to greet my friend. While he had gotten up quickly, we were both feeling very calm today. Rather than our usual ruckus, we elected to have a slow walk through the forest, moving slow enough that the forest seemed full of the minutest things – where each tree or sunbeam had several faces to show us as we moved by.
