[ I’ll be the shadow, you’ll be the light, nothing ] ever lasts forever

Personal Shadow work.
Working on healing.
If you read, forewarning I curse.

. Song


This is it. The big moment. Everything I’ve dreaded from my work. Knowing that I will never be here again. Knowing that leaving these pages here will be me shutting the door on the version here. Expelling the version that no longer serves me and in doing so removing the things that no longer serve me.

Grief is a strange thing. You can grieve for the moments that you’ll never have again. You can grieve for the people you will never meet again. You can grieve for the friendships that will never be again. During this process, I have cried so much. For how I feel, for my memories, for this place, for the friendships. For the feeling I always have thinking of the magic of this place. For the way I have contributed to the tainting of this place.

Even though no tears fall now, writing this final entry, my heart within feels free, With each posting here, I’ve felt lighter. Shadow work is hard, it’s exhausting. I have had to come to terms with myself and acknowledge dark things about myself. I want to be better. I want to grow. I want to leave this place acknowledging who I was when I was here. Sit with that version of me and acknowledge her. See her. Understand her. Empathize with her. Listen to her. Be there for her. Leave with her and bring her out so she can finally let go.

I feel I’ve done that.
And so, this is it.
I move on to the next.
I have awhile to go but I am leaving this place knowing I am no longer that person who was here.
She’s free.
I am free.