June 11, 2009 - 1:33am — celticmystress
Short thing I felt like writing, it's a message to Baal from the fawn that he hears in his head whilst she is out wandering, and wanting.
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.
.
Would they help you, my dear father?
Would they crush my bones as eagerly and as carelessly as you?
Would they stand by you, when the forest turned against you?
Why, oh why my maker, do you let them stop me from coming to you?
They can never stop me.
I will always find you.
I will always love you.
Would they stand by you, and encourage you as you take another life, dear Baal?
Would they wallow in the pools of my blood and laugh, my friend?
What do they think when they see me Baal?
A restless spirit that they can kick aside to sit beside you in more glory?
The cowards!
They spit on you Baal.
Watch who you entertain, my brother.
They would turn on you in a second. But I.
I will never.
Why do you push me aside?
Why do you deny me, would you deny them?
They are your present, you welcome them with open arms!
I am your past, and you shun me.
Is it truly my fault?
Am I an abomination?
I am your abomination Baal.
Am I an embarrassment to you?
...
This forest has helped me accept what I am.
And I love them for it.
This misty season will be my last, father.
....Will you watch me fade away?
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Envyous little thing huh?
Yes, I don't plan to keep the fawn in much longer.
She'll be back on the anniversary of her death.
......perhaps she will only appear when what should have been done, is done.
(and I don't mean killing anyone.)
The fawn refurrs to Baal as father because he "created" what she is.
Baal isn't really her father....
Wow is all I have to say.
Wow is all I have to say. That was nicely written though.
=o Very strong a poem.
Very strong a poem.
This is so eerie. Exactly
I love how you made her jealous of the other deer. It gives her a sort of envious of a life she can not have appeal. Beautiful and oh so sad.
And the colors to bring out those specific words. Red and pink, excellent choices for their choice words.
I honestly think he'll be lost when she goes. Confused as to why that little voice is no longer there to humble him and show him what a monster he can be.
Thank you both so much, it
Baal:
It was more of an experiment to see what feelings two colors could produce. The same words, but different colors can have emotions on their own. I thought a little message to Baal from the fawn would be perfect. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I think she may travel the forest, though not noticing anyone other than Baal, yet when she sees him, she'll fade away, and it'll be up to him if what he saw was a memory/or the real thing or not.
She'll be watching over him though.
Thank you so much, it means a lot to me! <3
Didn't expect that from the
[e]: I forgot to mention that I liked it. *headdesk*
I call that a success
Ah! I do like that idea! Like his own personal demon that actually doesn't just exist in his head. Would add such a psychological thrill to his story. You have made my day with that idea.
I think he would be oddly comforted by being watched over. It would also make him feel a little more bad about his incessant attacking of other deer.
You are certainly more than welcome!