There has never been a day worse than this, ever.

Sonata's picture
My best friend died today.

fuck
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

FUCK.

There are very few people in this world that I like.

There are two people that I love

and now I've lost one of them

I don't even know what I'm going to do without her, I don't know
she was more than a friend, god...
I LOVED her.

which is a lot coming from me.

would have died for her, which says even more

She's probably the only reason I'm still alive today, that one little thing that kept me from ending it all

fuckfuckfuck
I loved her so much

This is why I don't get close to people

my chest hurts

and I can't even cry, I cried myself out a long time ago

and that hurts
my eyes hurt
my chest hurts
my heart hurts

I hate her for leaving me like this

oh god, Ari I need you

god damn it all

it's not fair

I couldn't read this and not

I couldn't read this and not comment, but I don't know what there is I can say.
'I'm sorry' just doesn't come close to cutting it.
I can't imagine...
Snowsauria's picture

Wow, this is... I can't even

Wow, this is... I can't even imagine how you feel right now, and I'm sorry that there isn't much I can write to make you feel better.

But I think we all on the community will do what we can to support you through this.
Sonata's picture

;;

;;
arrowdoe's picture

I'm sorry about your loss...

I'm sorry about your loss... I wish I could say more, or at least something that meant even just a little bit. ;^;
Seed's picture

*Agrees with what Tera

*Agrees with what Tera said*
I'm so sorry to hear you're hurting. My sympathies and love.

Words can't do much, I

Words can't do much, I think.
But we are here.

♥♥♥

god... ... same like tera

god...

... same like tera here...

I.. hm.

I am sorry...
Sonata's picture

Thank you all... so much...

Thank you all...
so much...<3

That's really sad actually I

That's really sad actually
I feel almost the same as you do
One of my family members died almost a year ago and I still can't get over it.
And I agree with Tera
I'm really sorry of what happened.

We're all here for you. This

We're all here for you. This community is one big family, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, we're here. <3
Pegasicorn's picture

D= *can only offer hugs*

D= *can only offer hugs*
Amazon's picture

I'm sorry, Sonata...

I'm sorry, Sonata... <33;

Sonata's picture

;; &hearts;

;;
ocean's picture

-offers a hug- We're here for

-offers a hug-
We're here for you...
Serenai's picture

-Crushes you here too.-

-Crushes you here too.-
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Reyy's picture

*Holds*

*Holds*

;;

;; <3 -hugs-
Hraeth's picture

I have no idea what I could

I have no idea what I could possibly say that would console you.
I hurt for you and the pain that comes with losing someone so loved. I wish there was something that could be done or said that would make it all better, but I know there's not.

Don't keep it locked up. ♥...
Kaoori's picture

i know no words that will

i know no words that will help.
but like everyone said, we are here.
<3
Sonata's picture

I love you all so much...

I love you all so much...<3

I don't even know how to begin thanking you all...;;
Serenai's picture

The responses to this alone

The responses to this alone could make me cry.

God, you are all so beautiful.

-Rejoins the ever growing pile of love.-

Edit: ... ♥
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Trickster's picture

I... Oh gosh, GOSH Sonata,

I... Oh gosh, GOSH Sonata, I... I have no words that can express how shocking and tragic this is. Whilst I've lost many relatives in the past (we had a bad year-6 in a period of about 7 months thar D: So if you ever want to talk about it I might be able to help in some way, I don't know but the offer is there ♥) but losing a best friend who was evidently so close to you is just... Ouch.

Gawds, I cannot express my sorrow at this. My best wishes and thoughts are with you lovely, and I also hope that your friend is at peace too. Best of luck, and know that I and so many others are here for you if you need it ♥ I...

*cuddlehugsquishies* D: ♥

If I ever lost my best

If I ever lost my best friend.. I can't even imagine.


This is horrible for you, and my sympathies go to you and all of her loved ones.
Just whatever you do, don't be afraid to take time to remember her as she was.
Tally's picture

My gosh, I'm so sorry this

My gosh, I'm so sorry this happened to you. You have my best wishes.

However, you need to know that with her or not you need to keep hanging on. She would want you to be happy and safe, don't let her loss push you off the edge. Hope is never something you can afford to lose, be strong please, for her and for yourself.
Sonata's picture

Thank you, all, so so much

Thank you, all, so so much

-holds- sorry this is all I

-holds-

sorry this is all I can offer...hang in there. we love you, you know..<3
Halafax's picture

I am not sure what else I

I am not sure what else I could say that would help/someone hasn't already said. Just know that I read this and that I'm thinking about you, we all are. Losing a family member is very tough but sometimes I think losing a friend is harder because you can share things with them that you can't with family.

...Oh god, I'm sorry ;;
*surrounds you in hugs, love, and pillows*

I know how this feels...

I know how this feels... You're right about it being unfair....no one including you should have to feel this grief...It doesn't cut it, but it's all I can give...I'm sorry...

Swifttail's picture

...*snifflesob*....I'm so

...*snifflesob*....I'm so sorry.
Wh-hoq did she die? *sniffles again* Ah my gawd...;.;

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Signature/avatar are WIP.
Swifttail's picture

...*snifflesob*....I'm so

...*snifflesob*....I'm so sorry.
Wh-how did she die? *sniffles again* Ah my gawd...;.;

Deviantart|Bio
Signature/avatar are WIP.
Spirituelle's picture

Words are nothing in a

Words are nothing in a situation like this.
Stay strong, because you are an amazing and beautiful person.
<3
Sonata's picture

I'll probably say sometime,

I'll probably say sometime, but not right now

thank you for your words...<3
Bylah's picture

When the things we love in

When the things we love in our lives are ripped from us, it's some back-alley butcher job. It's ugly and it's bleeding and there's no numbing, no anesthesia. Nothing to take that pain away. There's a huge, gaping hole in us.

But as the days, the months, the years go by, that monstrous void slowly begins to fill. New memories - and old ones - start to crowd in. Bit by bit, the void will slowly shrink - though it will never - can never - truly go away.

There will always be a scar. There will always be this jagged ugly line on your breast and it will be there forever.

And I like to think that no matter what you believe in, one day, there will be a split second - or longer, if you think like I do - where everyone you've ever lost will be before you and one by one, they will place their gentle, soft hand on your scars and wipe them away. That ache, that hurt that you've carried around for as long as you have? It'll be gone. It'll be wiped away from you.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am so sorry that you've got a scar too. I know those new memories won't make it go away and I know that it'll take a long time for that hurting to stop, but it'll fade.

One day, it will be gone forever.

Then you'll be home.


Sonata's picture

oh god, Bylah ;;

oh god, Bylah

;;<3

thank you, so much.
you don't know how much it means, to me, just to know that you, that everyone, have spent just a moment looking at this, much less to take time to give words of comfort.

All of you.
Thank you.

your comfort says so much.
so much more than words ever could.
Madgab's picture

awwwww i'm so sorry to hear

awwwww i'm so sorry to hear about this. Hang in there <3
Tenley's picture

Oh...sonata thats terrible...

Oh...sonata thats terrible... im so sorry.... That just.... Sad i feel really bad for you! I hope she knows how much you cared for her.
Walking into a room and saying, " I should clean this! " Then walking out. -lily

Bylah, I'm crying right

Bylah, I'm crying right now.

That was fucking beautiful.

Sonata-

You're in my thoughts-

and-
Serenai's picture

-Dead of cute.-

-Dead of cute.-
Icon Art © Beloved
Alecsander's picture

I've never been one good at

I've never been one good at comforting in times of need, but try to keep your head held high. Whenever I had troubling times my great grand father would sit me down and kindly say "Adfyd a ddwy wybodaeth, a gwybodaeth ddoethineb."

Sadly I can't do the same in return due to distance, but I can at least share the same words that kept me going when the world was cruel:

"Adversity brings knowledge and knowledge wisdom."


Munkel's picture

I started crying reading all

I started crying reading all this. I don't know what to say... I'm sorry.
-hugs- &hearts

Oh no...Luff. ;______; I

Oh no...Luff. ;______;

I can't imagine either. I was so close to losing a dear friend in a car accident back in December, just before christmas. I think I might have some common ground here about this, because I wished I was in her place, I wished it was me. Because what happened to her, she did not deserve at the least. The bastard that was driving hit her at 45mph, and wasn't punished either because he did a 'hit and run' stunt.

I will not ask how Ari passed,
but please know that we are here for you.

All of us.
Unplugged's picture

Oh dear, I can't even

Oh dear, I can't even imagine--

Hang in there. I'm so sorry. ;;

We are all here for you if

We are all here for you if you need us <333
Tuhka's picture

I... can't even imagine how

I... can't even imagine how it'd feel to lose a best friend. And I never ever want to.
I think there's nothing I can say to make you feel better, no way in hell words would be enough. But I'm so sorry... ,__,
Kiraki's picture

I only just saw this this

I only just saw this this now, I am so sorry to hear that Sonata

*hugs*

Wish there more I could do
Flyleaf's picture

I too have only 2 or 3 really

I too have only 2 or 3 really friends , if one of them would die ..... I am not thinking about it !
So i can not even imagin how you feel , but i wish you better times and " huggs " you !
Avatar @ Sluggs Siggy @ Amazegenalo
Bouncing Fly by Mary13
Chickenwhite's picture

Aww, man... Life's really not

Aww, man... Life's really not fair, eh?... God, I can't even begin to imagine the excruciating pain you must be feeling... I've never been so unlucky as to lose someone so dearly beloved, but the losses I have experienced fortunately all led to the same conclusion; It hurts like a bitch, but if it doesn't go away, at least we get used to it... *mindhugs*
Sonata's picture

&hearts; thank you


thank you<3
again
all of you<3

so much
Chickenwhite's picture

You're welcome, hun

You're welcome, hun TwT
No-one should have to go through such pain alone T__T
z.m123's picture

I now hoe you feel... My

I now hoe you feel... My grandpa past away two years ago, still hard to talk about it, I almost took suicide that time...