The Red Hair [begin of Balthamos' damnation shortstory]

GuardianGhost's picture
Previous writing
Comments and criticisms are welcome.
I apologize in advantage for possible grammatical mistakes.


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I’m unable to quantify the period I spent watching over the other’s souls as Guardian Angel.
Due to the fact We loved everyone in the same way, without discriminating, We were used to exchange often people to protect. I have vague and peaceful memories of those days …
Except from Her.
She’s the only memory that saves me from the madness, that sustains my tired body day after day.
Since the first time I caught sight of her eyes, I felt a particular bond between us.
She was an about 12 years old girl, with an infinitely sad face framed by red, rebel hair. Her home was the orphanage : she had been unloaded there after a tragic, recent happening, which destroyed her life and kept tormenting her mind.
She was used to live with her mother, in an apartment placed in a rough area. Once, returning home, she noticed that a men had burst in. Threatening the woman with a long, sinister knife, yelling at her with anger. He wanted something, and wanted it from her.
The girl have been taught that there’s only one thing able to stop people like him.
And it was simply laying in a drawer.
But the fate, or the chance, is cruel and sarcastic, and it was a tremble of the frightened hand which decided who was going to die that day, in the kitchen.
She realize her action only when she felt the trigger on the fingers, and saw an awesome,
crimson
flower

blooming on her mother’s dress, right on her chest.
Then came the police, the social worker, the coffin, the psychologist, the orphanage.
Noise, senseless words, darkness, voices, solitude.
She never forgave herself for that, and the guilt killed her each hour, incessantly, a bit more.
It is funny that I can remember those things so well, even if not concerning me, isn’t it?
The girl’s name was
Ariel.
And I felt towards her a curiosity, an interest which went immediately further than the permissible. I didn’t confine myself to watching over her as I should have done…
First I wanted to whisper in her ears, after I even started to make her physically see me.
I managed to console her a bit from the sorrow which, however, never left her. We became inseparable after a little time, and I started to love her in a…
wrong way.
Loving her so much, meant loving all the others less.
I ended up scorning the mortals which were used to treat her with a condescending air without understanding, and, poisoned by a new feeling that I never felt before, the jealousy, I refused to share her with my angelical companions.

She was mine.

She was used to call me her Guardian Angel.


"What’s your name, my angel ?"

"We don’t have real names. You can call me as you prefer."

She was used to read a lot as well … To me, especially.

"You need a good name, one that inspires power and grace, but unique at the same time.
Let’s see …



Balthamos


What do you think about ? I could call you Mos, for short…"

She was so awesome when enthusiastic.
Receiving a name distinguished me from my anonymous companions, tying me even closer to her.
Everything was perfect, except for her guilty conscience.
She confessed me she was afraid of having an
evil soul,
in spite of she wanted so much being good.
Good like me.
But was I still good?

I was supposed to be the cure for her, not the drug.

To that point, I was blind and I could have done everything for her…
To make her laugh, to make her feeling better.

I was ready to go beyond my limits.

And that is what I did.
GingerNut's picture

Wonderful use of both color

Wonderful use of both color and layout, as well as a good sense of pacing. c: I'll be watching this~
GuardianGhost's picture

Thank you GingerNut, I'm

Thank you GingerNut, I'm really glad I manage to write something enjoyable c:
siggy by Pegasicorn
Kumiko's picture

I loved the atmosphere

I loved the atmosphere created by the song you included. It was quite chilling, but in a good way.

I'm very curious to see how things will pan out. I want to see more about the life of a guardian angel and how his live for Ariel damned him.

Keep up the intriguing work.
ocean's picture

Ahhh, that was awesome. Poor

Ahhh, that was awesome.
Poor Mos. :c
Really enjoyed that though, and I agree about the pacing and layout.
I like what you've started here.
GuardianGhost's picture

Kumiko: Thank you, it took me

Kumiko:
Thank you, it took me some time to search for the right song, so I'm glad that you appreciated it.
Anyway, I'm already working on the next shortstory ^^

Ocean:
Thank you too for reading and for your words, sounds really encouraging (:
siggy by Pegasicorn