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WayfarerHart's picture
Untitled Headworld Discord (+ Toyhou.se)
This server is my personal space for musings and world-building. It will also be functioning as a central location for future offspring channels, families who reside within my head-world, and other things. There are also intentions to host events now and then that will bring in and mix as many characters as possible, opening interactions and hopefully mutually benefiting all participants in expanding their OC's circles.

How to get to the TH Page is accessible via Discord.

People should feel free to come and go as they please, and I hope this place is convenient for all those who have ties to my musings, and over the top need for organisation!



Toyhou.se
Discord: Vee#1329


Rotating signature made here
Signature arts by: Saturnia, Aihnna, J!n, Kamaya, & Vessan


Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.
- W. S. Merwin

and i decided to steal a page

and i decided to steal a page
ShrinkingRose's picture

Present!

Present!

.

.
Spirituelle's picture

shakra i'm following you

shakra i'm following you everywhere

ooo late track n_n

I peek in here too

I peek in here too
Saturnia's picture

(No subject)

<3 track
Kaoori's picture

I’m so sorry. Thinking of

I’m so sorry.
Thinking of you.
Starling's picture

I'm so sorry...

I'm so sorry... Sad <3

I'm very sorry for your

I'm very sorry for your loss.. ;;
sending strength and thinking of you ♥
WayfarerHart's picture

Thanks for the thoughts and

Thanks for the thoughts and condolences, guys... <3
I brought his ashes home last night. Now he's together with Primrose again... I'm probably going to look into getting them crafted into a glass ornament, or a pendant, so when I move I'll be able to keep them with me.


And a belated thanks for all the tracks. ♥ I'm not too talkative on here but I appreciate them a lot <3
Hum's picture

hello it is a Hum

hello it is a Hum

If you have something to tell

If you have something to tell me, use my page/email, not the game.
Was the fawn I came to keep company yours?
WayfarerHart's picture

I know what you've done. You

I know what you've done. You will never under any circumstances be welcome anywhere near me. Infact you have a lot of audacity pretending to be anything good in this community.

I'm not pretending. I well

I'm not pretending. I well know the damage I've done to other people on here, the ones who were my friends back then. Nothing I'm doing here would fix it, I'm also aware of it. It's not why I'm here, anyway.
So tell me, what did I do to you, exactly? We never interacted offsite and yet I heard the rumor that I "used you to get at J!n" or something like that. What is it all about?
WayfarerHart's picture

There will never be

There will never be redemption for people who sexually predate minors and young vulnerable people. Get lost.

I'm asking about the rumor

I'm asking about the rumor you started, specifically. You started it before I did the damage to those people.
Being accused of more, I have the right to know what exactly.
WayfarerHart's picture

Get your vile slimy ass out

Get your vile slimy ass out of my blog and never interact with me again.

You realize the graveness of

You realize the graveness of the topic. You owe me that answer.
WayfarerHart's picture

I owe you nothing. - If

I owe you nothing.
-
If anyone else out there needs the support, or would like to come forward, myself and the mod team will always have your backs.
karame's picture

"I well know the damage I've

"I well know the damage I've done to other people on here,"
Tell us what you think this damage that you know about it is. In detail. What do you think you did?

"Being accused of more, I have the right to know what exactly."
My account of the events is that you interacted with me in a sexual manner when I was underage, knowing well that I had not turned 18 yet.

Sexual manner=not personally towards me, but my characters, through nsfw art of our characters, conversations about sexual content, and conversations that I would label as flirty. I wrote you when I was 16, and we remained in contact for two years. And we only got closer as the years went on. I loved you, in ways an emotionally immature codependent and extremely hollow girl would.

I remember, when it all was revealed outside of the public, I got told that I was "a victim of online hookup culture." Thank you for that, Ravyn. For anyone who reads this - I initiated. I reciprocated everything. And I don't care how you sort this in your head - in my opinion, it's absolutely vile that a 27-30 years old person did this with a 16-18 years old someone. You do with that information whatever you want. At this point, all I want is for it to be out here. If you've any sense of maturity in you, you know that people at 18 and even in their early 20s can be immature and vulnerable people.

And during those said great revelations, I also found out that you did this to at least one other person, if not in worse ways than with me. It's not my place to give an account of that, however.
"You realize the graveness of the topic. You owe me that answer." - And this - This is just you wanting to know what exactly you're up against. Coward.

When it all went down - I couldn't eat for a week and got to an unhealthy weight due to all of it. And then our connection went on for a few more months, because I couldn't let go. I needed my fix of this old very cool guy that I loved so much. I was obsessed, addicted to the feelings you made me feel. Then - only when technical problems kept us from talking, I cut connection.

I'm not the person anymore that I was back then. But writing, thinking about this still makes me tremble, and in that situation the responsibility fell on you to handle the situation and not fucking interact with someone more than a decade younger than you in any way close to what we did. And I can't help but think about that every time you interact with younger or vulnerable people on here.

(edit: vee. thank you for providing grounds for this conversation on here.
it's sad that it's happening here, and sad that it's happening on the forums at all. But I feel like it's right for everyone to know.)
whiskeybeast's picture

the majority of this

the majority of this community is well aware of your filth. i utterly-fucking-despise you for what you did to my friends
and it makes me sick to my stomach every time i see you prancing around in the game as if nothing had happened.

i've been waiting to say this publicly for years.
Mauvable's picture

karame you are so brave for

karame you are so brave for sharing that, thank you

Edit:


For what it's worth, I dont know that I've known about Uit being a pedophile quite as long as some-- but ever since finding out the very sight of his pictogram makes me sick to my stomach. I hate sharing a space with him and I hate knowing that he's befriending more and more new players who don't know what's happened.
Keyblade's picture

Karame, that was so

Karame, that was so incredibly brave for you to share and I am so glad that you did so that others know the things he has done.

Ditto-ing Mauv's comment that Uitleger's picto makes me sick to see still in this community and if he had any kind of wherewithal, he would fucking leave. You know what you've done and you know how fucked it is. Take your filthy ass and get the fuck out of our community.
Aivilo's picture

Others have been more

Others have been more eloquent than I would like to be.
So all I have to say is I feel betrayed and lied to. I looked up to Uit at one point for his creativity and coding ability. It’s a slap in the face to learn someone you admired is so disgusting. It makes me feel gross for having ever thought otherwise.
Thank fuck it’s finally in the open. I’ll gladly trade the map and all the other neat gadgets for that.
Snowsauria's picture

Just gonna ditto everything

Just gonna ditto everything that has been said in here, but especially thank you for sharing, Karame
Saturnia's picture

Vee, thank you for bringing

Vee, thank you for bringing this to light. I did not expect this and I feel sad that I have to learn it through here, I feel awful and I miss and worry about some old friends now, I don’t want to assume but I can’t help it after learning this;

Many have said this already, but to Karame, thank you for sharing and being brave, I am sorry that ever happened. Please take care.

Uit, we interacted for days, I enjoyed your company in-game unaware of this and how I can’t do that. If you are still doing this, please stop and seek help. I am fairly new even if I lingered briefly here 6 years ago, and I’ve known you only for a little bit, but Aivilo described what I feel now. Nauseated.

I can’t articulate my words better at the moment.

Edited.

Bye.

Bye.

Quote:You realize the

Quote:
You realize the graveness of the topic. You owe me that answer.

How you can act like you aren't the perpetrator of this 'topic', how you have the audacity to demand anything from anyone here after the things you did, is beyond me. No one owes you shit. I am so grateful you have finally been exposed for the sick individual you are. You say nothing will fix the damage you caused, how about you start making an effort by leaving the community you have abused and never preying on anyone ever again? Instead of ruining this place for the victims you hurt, instead of being a constant reminder of the disgusting shit you did and acting like you did nothing wrong, instead of continuing to groom minors. This place isn't safe as long as you are here.

To those who were hurt by Uitleger, I'll never have the right words to convey how sorry I am for what you have been made to suffer. You don't deserve any of this. Just know that you have the community's full love and support and that you're doing the right thing by exposing him for who he truly is, you are brave and strong ♥ you are saving others from having to go through his abuse.
Starling's picture

Thankyou Charlie for bringing

Thankyou Charlie for bringing this to light. <3

For anyone who reads this - I initiated. I reciprocated everything. And I don't care how you sort this in your head - in my opinion, it's absolutely vile that a 27-30 years old person did this with a 16-18 years old someone. You do with that information whatever you want. At this point, all I want is for it to be out here. If you've any sense of maturity in you, you know that people at 18 and even in their early 20s can be immature and vulnerable people.

Thankyou Karame for sharing your side. Your words make me feel a little less alone, because I relate deeply. I was in the same position, and I've only really spoken a little about this to one or two other people, many years ago, and I think my brain has shut out a good chunk of what even happened. And for the longest of time, even up til now, a little part of me has been in denial - because I always blamed myself. But I was very young. I vaguely remember the very first comment (the very start of it all) back from when I used Skype, I had a picture set to myself, so I must have been 14/15 back then. It made me uncomfortable, and I believe I changed it not long after and never showed my face on there again.

It didn't stop you though, and eventually I even initiated. I never kept my age a secret on TEF, so you definitely knew.

It's one of the reasons I drifted from the game. The shame and guilt I have felt for so long over this, and yet haven't spoken a word of to anyone. My old blogs eventually deleted because they felt tainted with memories I wanted to forget. When I heard of it happening to others, I was so fucking angry - I knew they were the victims here and they did nothing wrong. It didn't stop me from blaming myself though, still. Not until now at least. Thankyou everyone for speaking out, either by sharing your experiences or sharing your support. And I'm so sorry to anyone else who is/has been affected in any way by any of this.

(No subject)

Idea

Hello, Uitleger. I've found

Hello, Uitleger.

I've found an article that may be of use to you in this time.

Hope this helps.
HB's picture

not one person here owes you

not one person here owes you anything. you don't get to make demands when it's you who caused the damage. people like you make me hate the world.

to anyone who has been a victim of this, i'm so incredibly sorry and know that we're all here for you. this should be your place to enjoy and have a nice time in, and not some sick fuck's who goes after children. you did nothing wrong and i'm glad this was brought to light.

I stand by my taking that

I stand by my taking that tone with Vee, because I won't stand being lied about. Neither would anyone, were they in my place.

I am glad people are speaking out. I never had the capacity to start it, myself. Not even with the people directly involved, after all this time.
I'm not bragging when I say "I well know the damage". I despise myself for what I did. And I didn't come back here to do any more.
I left the forest two years ago, of my own accord, for all the same reasons you all are saying I should leave now.
I came back on a firm belief that leaving isn't doing any good, but staying and doing what I am emotionally capable of - would.
I am sorry for hurting people, sincerely. I am sorry for reopening the wounds with my return. And I am sorry for now hurting those who trusted me for a while or came to trust me recently.
I'm not the same person I was years ago. But I can't say I've changed either, if I leave this place, damaged by me, as it is, and do nothing.
And so, I haven't been doing what I do here for redemption or as a cover-up for my past deeds. I'm doing the things I believe in, is all. Because I believe that's where/how I have to start.

nothing to add that hasn’t

nothing to add that hasn’t already been said multiple times, but wanting to give out my support for those that were targeted by a predator who has no place in this community.. im glad this was all brought to light so that maybe any further predatory attempts will not be successful, at least here. I can only fear to think what else may have happened elsewhere or offline

Sig: Aihnna

Aivilo's picture

Absolutely not. You do not

Absolutely not. You do not get to play the victim here. There is no "I felt really bad but that's why I had to come back". If you think coming back is the healing you need, I'm sorry, but the people you hurt come way before that. Where is their right to heal? Why do you get to trample on it? How the heck do you put yourself before them, knowing "well the damage"? I don't think you realize how much damage you did if that's the case. You are forcing them to either leave this place and their friends/support group or else endure the constant presence of their abuser.
Get out, and get therapy.

No one wants you here, pedo.

No one wants you here, pedo. Get gone and stay gone.
Aquilo's picture

Everyone that has spoken out

Everyone that has spoken out about this: thank you. thank you.

You're not alone. The community has your backs ♥ It's not easy to speak out about these things. I understand the shame and guilt and feeling like you had some responsibility in it, but believe us when you say you were not in the wrong. My heart goes out to you all, and I hope we always strive to make TEF a safer and more welcoming space.
Player & Character Hub
Discord: Gulonine#4267

I was 14 when this man and I

I was 14 when this man and I first started talking. As is the case with Karame, you could argue I was the one initially pursuing a friendship with him - and you wouldn't be wrong - but what's important here is that this man was 25 years old. He knew that I was 14 - as if that wasn't enough, I'm also on the autistic spectrum, something that affected me deeply at the time, to the effect of my mental and developmental level being below that of an average 14 year old. I communicated openly about my age and my disability - and even if I hadn't, there is no way a man his age could have possibly missed the sheer amount of immaturity and insecurity I used to be abundant with.

None of this had restricted him from maintaining the relationship for years, and I have evidence, from the time I was 15 (and, not impossibly, earlier), of him making inappropriate sexual comments, which included a rape implication, towards my characters, especially my sona/self insert/OOC. He's done this knowing full well I used to be repelled and disgusted by sexuality and romance - same went for my characters - something that I now know was one of the early signs of dysphoria, and he didn't forget to comment how my character was "pure", despite them being no stranger to cruelty and violence, just because they were sex-repulsed.

The gap of age, life experience, intelligence, verbal fluency (besides, this was way before I'd master my English) and communication skills was so wide there was simply no foundation for an equal, healthy friendship. I was perceived as young, naive, stupid, and female, which made for an ideal (and, not impossibly, attractive) target. His popularity with mutual friends at the time, his popularity on the community site, the admiration he got for his artwork - those were the chief weapon in his arsenal and the culprit of my younger self's fear of conflict and asserting discomfort. I couldn't just start shit with him, could I? And how could I have known I was even justified in feeling uncomfortable and not making shit up, as society has so often taught me I'd been? Those were my thoughts at the time.

Look up love bombing and intermittent reinforcement, everyone. Predators are good at their little games, but the code can be cracked. Many thanks to fellow survivors for informing me (not that uncommon for a person in my place to not realize they've been wronged and can defend themselves), speaking out, and to the community and the mod team for having our backs. I love y'all. Stay safe, treat yourselves, and look after your friends, everyone. <3

Edit: I also want to add that this man made a comment sexualizing me - his image of me, which couldn't be further from the truth - asking me if I'd "tear off my clothes" under a given circumstance. Deplorable.

"I came back on a firm belief

"I came back on a firm belief that leaving isn't doing any good,"

Are you kidding. Actually leaving would do good. For the victims. And other minors. We can't stop you from playing the game, but you're not entitled to a space in this community among us. Why would we trust you? Why would we allow you in a space with minors?

I feel completely disgusted

I feel completely disgusted and bewildered by all this exposure of someone I naively 'admired', not even knowing the terrible things other people have gone through at their hands. It makes me sick to think that when we first interacted, I was underage and that this could have happened to me.

I won't be capable to express how sorry I am for those who fell victim of this man, that even forgiveness cannot be accepted in the face of something so cloying and nauseating. May the strength and courage that Karame had in revealing something so sensitive be a refuge for others who, unfortunately, know that they are not alone, and that they have the support of the community.

I feel completely disgusted

I feel completely disgusted and bewildered by all this exposure of someone I naively 'admired', not even knowing the terrible things other people have gone through at your hands. It makes me sick to think that when we first interacted, I was underage and that this could have happened to me.

I won't be capable to express how sorry I am for those who fell victim of this man, that even forgiveness cannot be accepted in the face of something so cloying and nauseating. May the strength and courage that Karame had in revealing something so sensitive be a refuge for others who, unfortunately, know that they are not alone, and that they have the support of the community.

double comment, sorry.

double comment, sorry.
sarkoja's picture

"I came back on a firm belief

"I came back on a firm belief that leaving isn't doing any good, but staying and doing what I am emotionally capable of - would."

What kind of mental gymnastics did you have to go through believe it's somehow appropriate to return to the very community where you repeatedly groomed children?

Leave. Stay gone.

Uitleger- Quote:because I

Uitleger-

Quote:
because I won't stand being lied about.

So you "never had the capacity" to acknowledge or address what you did to your victims, but as soon as someone makes you feel insulted you suddenly have the capacity to start a public feud on Vee's personal blog to defend your name? And with that same self-serving attitude, you're telling us that you decided to return to the forest after two years, to remain here, because you needed it for your healing and your own peace of mind - still without ever bothering to offer even a shred of closure for your victims?

You're not glad people are speaking about this, Uitleger, you don't give a fuck and were merely caught in the act, but nice attempt to save face there after trying to dismiss the topic in favor of a supposed rumor against you: a 'rumor' that grossly pales in comparison to what you did to countless innocent people. If the voices of your victims were so important to you, you would have addressed this a long time ago yourself. You would not have come back if their feelings mattered to you at all and you would not have scared them into silence.

You don't get to say you know the damage. You will never know what it is like to suffer the years of pain you caused these people, or the years it may still take for them to fully recover. You will never come close to understanding the damage you have caused, especially not when you have taken zero responsibility for any of it.

As others have said already, you need to leave and never come back. If you want to do right by the people you hurt, leave. You made your bed, lie in it. There are plenty of other ways to be a better person that doesn't involve haunting your victims in the same community you destroyed for them.

--

trmnlsystm, you are completely right in his methods of lovebombing. When I first found out about what he's been doing, everything made sense and I wish I realized sooner. All the artwork, his eager attraction to 'hi I'm new, I need help' posts clearly written by minors or artwork drawn by them, always the young and vulnerable seeking help and friendship. It's disgusting and I'm so sad to learn just how many he has hurt and for so long, to learn that he is why some of you left the community, but I'm glad you (all of you) finally feel safe enough to speak up. I really hope you can heal from this with time, you aren't alone.
whiskeybeast's picture

i've seen your stuff. get

i've seen your stuff. get gone. for once, act like a man and never come back.
Snowsauria's picture

Is that what they call DARVO?

Is that what they call DARVO? seriously, the fact that Uitleger thinks it's better to stay here is despicable and mindblowing

Thank you to the other victims that has come forward too, I am so sorry you've had this happen to you - this goes for those who haven't spoken up as well of course <3

Not like I have much to say

Not like I have much to say that hasn't been said already, but I will say this: I hope life continues to hit you hard and you succumb to your grief for the hell you gave these people. Pedophiles deserve death and little else. Fucking disgusting.
Evern's picture

Just adding my voice for

Just adding my voice for support. I've ignored your existence in this community for years and I should have done more than that. You have no place here.

"very community where you

"very community where you repeatedly groomed children"
I never had the intent. I was self-absorbed, crude, ignorant and irresponsible around those who I talked to over the pms, and those words are few and are extremely mildly put, but I didn't have that intent for anyone I ever interacted with.
Mauvable's picture

Stop trying to defend

Stop trying to defend yourself, it's not going to work.

We don't want you here anymore. You're not welcome here anymore.