Is it worth going on?
August 8, 2008 - 9:28pm — The Hunter
EDIT: Please, no sympathy. Stay away from me. I'm losing myself again, this will be my last entry for a long time.
Today, I tried to kill myself. I could remember everythng I'd done, I saw the blood in my mind, the tears and pain I had caused. I knew that this mode of thought would not last. I knew this was my only chance.
Standing, I saw two deer watching me. I saw the fawn, cowering, looking so young, so tender, so tempting....
And I lost the battle. I went for it, and lost my mind.
The fawn fled, and ran where I could not follow. I went as deep as I could, mindlessly roaring, the water up to my neck, but I could not swim, I would drown.
So instead, I left. I went, and killed another.
Only when I was washing the blood from my teeth did I come round.
I stared at myself in the red, red reflection. Then I passed out. The Gods had come for me, as they always do.
Back in the cage. I see the others.
I see their happiness, and I long to smash them, to reap them, to dine in the chaos of sacrifice...
...and I dent the bars, again and again, in madness.
Weeks, months later. Another rare period of normality.
I had hesitated before, too long. I did not do so again. Desperately, I did all I could with the only thing availiable to me: the cursed bars themselves.
I knew my throat was the most exposed part of me; it lies bare, glistening in the open. So I jammed my head under, face up, and the pain lanced through me. Such pain I hadn't felt before, I was usually mad when I was punished with injury. I roared at the sky, stars dancing in the darkness under my mask.
Even so, I tried not to pass out. I knew that this would be the one good thing I ever did in my life, and I would not let the gods interfere.
But they made me. The pain was too great. And when I came round, all was as before.
Is it worth going on? Is it wrong of me to try again? My life has already been taken from me, it makes no difference if the body still moves, or not. Some say it is wrong to want to leave, that it is against the Gods' wishes. But then, one more wouldn't make any difference. My whole life has been a displeasure to them.
But then, what can I do?
Awwww.... yes, come on.
~
EMIVA'S BIOGRAPHY
LOVE HUG!! <33 -Is
-Is eaten-.
But really, Tabii has much love for the Hunter. And she has the patience to just sit by her in her cage for company. Plus, she doesn't mind being nibbled on from time to time. 83
No suicide plz. Not good. Pray to Twin Gods? Maybe they can free you from your curse?
o.o I was the brown
Poor Artemis/Hunter....=/
DONT KILL YOURSELF.
-- Dannii <3
Thanks, Tabithaaa. At least
Dannii, the sad part is that I couldn't, anyway. The Gods don't let you. Anyone who's read Walter's story knows that. It's just hypothetical. I'm not sure I wouldn't if I could, but I don't know anything.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please don't take the final
I'm kind-of depressed, myself...because I'm so very, very close to being a normal deer, I even spent an entire day as one...and like that, it's gone...c'est la vie.
*nuzzles fake quamar she sees*
Feel free to nibble on me at anytime, heh, I'll understand...and if you'd ever like the company of a vampire, Vein wouldn't mind befriending you.
Vein's my vampire deer. As a fawn, he's a little hyperactive demon...as a stag, he's a sly...I dunno how to explain in.
Sexy beast? xDD
Yes. MWAHAHA. If you
If you consider a bloodsucking creature born into the form of a deer..."sexy". You deer confuse me.
D'awwh.. -Giggles like a
Um.. Hunter? Why are there loads of you in the cage? Alll of which are alseep? Is there something new to the story that I am unaware of? xDD
Vein rocks. I miss
I miss everything
Tis okay. I always wanted to meet hunter!
(Note from Liëka: Only two
I see you there, Tabii. I must warn you, you are lucky I am so human right now. Please, don't take chances when there is no hint of Artemis in me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I too am there...I am sorry
^^;
-- Dannii <3
Smexy hunter is sad!
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