Faunet Story 2 ( Baal) :) just another story

Waking up one morning Faunet decides to visit the pond for her morning bath. Before she can jump in a force of some sort puls her to the bridge. As she comes to the bridge she discovers a male deer sleeping on the bridge. Faunet senses that this deer is different from the rest. Other than that she knows that this deer is a tormented soul wounded and rejected by the others. She also senses that this deer is dangerous not just to other deer but to her. Faunet knows that his pain had led her to him to help in any way she could. Only should she risk her life to help or maybe save this creature from its own self? The only answer she could come up with was yes. First thing Faunet had to do was wake this creature from its tormented slumber. Dancing around in a circle and bleeting with all of her might Faunet tried to wake him. Sucess! He stood up . But the look in his eyes were hungry, hungry for some thing Faunet could not figure out. Putting all of her fears aside Faunet introduced herself first by bowing and then by speaking. The deer responded the same way, except he did not speak. Faunet thought maybe if she could get the deer to interact with her he might have a better sense of being, Faunets only fear was that he would reject her and his soul would still be a bottomless pit of sorrow and grief. Taking her chances Faunet started to dance around him. Joy was in her soul when Faunet saw him respond by dancing with her . All was fine until a couple of other deer came to find out what was going on. It was then the male was clearly uncomfortable being around other deer. It was not long until he made his escape. No one noticing his abscence except for Faunet. Trailing after him she discovers him sitting in the ruins alone. Faunet decides to keep him company by siting near him. Minutes passed and Faunet stood up and to her amazement he did as well . They both started walking back to the pond. And on the way back a group of fawns ascends upon them. By this time Faunet can barely hold her head up the lack of sleep is catching up to her .Seeing her new friend in the company of others she decides to rest. But before she curls up to sleep she approaches the male and bows three times to tell him goodnight. He responds the same way although their parting was sweet bitterness lurked not far behind.


See you in the forest. Smiling
ocean's picture

Aww! Your fawn got Baal to

Aww! Your fawn got Baal to be happy. ^^ Again, I liked it. Keep writing. Smiling

Feel free to write your

Feel free to write your opinion on this after all my writing is not that good but I would like to know what you think of it.
ocean's picture

All it needs is a tiny

All it needs is a tiny grammar tune up (a few commas, maybe make some paragraphs?). Other than that, it's good! The descriptions work well and the sentences are a good length with good detail. Smiling I like it.
xhunter's picture

aw. this is good! keep going

aw. this is good!
keep going with the good work! Smiling

inspirer writing and poems //// if you like dragon eggs you can look at mine. at http://dragcave.net/user/xhunter Smiling
is staring at you. *star*
inspirer writing and poems //// if you like dragon eggs you can look at mine. at http://dragcave.net/user/xhunter Smiling

Thank you. I will try.

Thank you. I will try.
Iaurdagnire's picture

It's nice to read something

It's nice to read something about Baal that isn't depressing! Well done for being able to be friendly with him =)

Thanks he will be included

Thanks he will be included in other stories you might be to if you wish.Smiling
yoru-chan's picture

I really like how u write :3

I really like how u write :3