Dream dream twitter, the sparklies of look where what huh that noise. Light, little light it's all red open oh gosh the day has passed! Aye...eyes groggy and resting this birdly twittering of the Gods "la-yee-yah" I hear it cannot tune out the back of my mind...ugh...

...

Eyes watery bones ache for sleep but a twitch a twitter in my body I cannot go back to sleep I must awaken for what what to do...beasts AHH the flush of heat it is too hot hear on the soil but my hooves seem frostbitten and I hunger ache. Think no n...

Taint struggles to ache upwards. Her mind spirals out of control, the leaf swirling to the windless day with no desire but to fall again, but alas, Taint is not a leaf, and must rise up to feed herself and water her deerish maw. Water drips and she wipes it off on her breast, which furrily soaks up the droplets. She looks out.

The hours pass in a moment and she cannot think, every moment is eternal and it is nothing, and no webs can be weaved nor may prey be caught. She is dangling at the strings of the resting inertia, the sleep that is a cloak, a veil, that prevents her from awakening in a spazz and a flurry such as Pingüino. Taint isn't Taint at this time, she is just.

That is it. Just.

It is the same every morning. For she, she is just accepting her taint, because you cannot fight what you cannot realize you can fight at the time. She is a zombie from her awakening and never knows how she is, how she'll act, and she isn't herself.

And at last, the hours past, and she grasps her thoughts.

The Painted Lady is -not- a morning flutter...

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I tried to write "stream of consciousness" for the colored parts. It's a writing style I learned in English class, and it drives me mad.

Never disregard the birch grasses. Never disregard the silvery blues of the hues of the raindrops of Gods long gone from out hearts and fallen into the sky, that stained the Earth with grace. The grasses that parade across the forest forever and always in beauty and fever. These things, that I discovered long ago, these grasses remembered and eaten by our ancestors of the true world we never were a part of.

I digress...

You may always see your friends and you may always see the graves. The playground, always there and the statues and the ways we may cross the river. The idol, forever-crying...the statues of the Gods. The pond, the everything you huddle around, the oak, they're always there.

Please take a wander through the loneliness and expanse of the birch forest, where I doth tread. For it is the equivalent to stargazing in the heart of someone such as I...

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(i may add screenies later, lol)

I had a dream last night that there was a doe in the forest who wore the Kirin Pelt and antlers, with amethyst gems and golden threads and the mask of a deer with foolish eyes...

I saw all the other deer frozen, and saw her move. Her movements were a tad laggy, like Scape seemed to me when Nurra listened to a moving deer in the Pond of the 7th of August. But I noticed her moving around, jumping gently over a little creek.

I ran with her in my dream a while...

:/ I miss being normal...

*sits in her favorite circle next to an eternally sleeping deer, depressed and alone*

((code = Mr21))

I couldn't help myself, bad Zelly :x

My human owns the future husband of 21...awkward~...

I have a tip for you:

http://www.dailydragonfix.com/index.php

Use that site to hatch your eggs and such ^^; I use it. The "click" feature isn't up anymore because of jerks who used it to kill eggs, but you can "view all" and click 20 still

Click 20 a day and your eggs shall grow up healthy. Then you don't have to keep bumping your diary entries hoping for clicks, lol.

The angels stroll down their pathways, never looking west or east, only north or never south. They can stand, they can walk, but they can never go anywhere, for they have no legs, only wings. Where is anywhere and why is anything, are we all a bunch of points in this universe and who is scoring us? Is all of this a lie and who am I and why is I the term I use to refer to an indescribable essence which is me, is I, is ...

Lunar changes mark my curiosities as of yet within this world, off and on, on and off, and I cannot make any sense of this. What is wrong, what is right, what is left of me anymore whilst I stand here, cold and helpless...?

Love is a question that only I have and when I peer upon it otherwise, it's old and I hate it and I want it to die...

...

I do not permit you enter this area, it is mine and mine alone. For at love, I abandon that which is me. And I gnaw at it with malice now.

I bid you soft dancings...

Sincerely, la mastre Taintheth...

Oh Gods, great and powerful, ruthless and gentle, may you bring us twilight,a sole glimmer of hope, that time which may spell night or day, the time between birth and death.

I pray to thee, Gods, bring the twilight and stop the Reign of Plague upon the land. May you not lay a hand, or cloven hoof, upon another innocent soul this day...

I pray to you, Gods, that you please listen, to me, for once...

I bow my head and take leave...

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I miss twilight, it's my favorite time in the forest. I could run around in the Birch Forest at twilight forever, it's beautiful <3

*begs gods* Twilight plz, and no silly vampies, or Vein will eat you. xD;;

((below pic: can you see why i chose to change taint's personality from happy to what it is after i chose her set on her doe day?))




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I don't take many screenies nowadays, meep. And I don't like most of the ones I take, lol.

I don't know how I'm dealing with all of this...my boyfriend...

I can't write about it or I'll tear up again, but I'm alone, and it's hard. And when I say alone, I mean it. I don't have any friends to talk to, only he is there often. My other friends don't care, or don't show it much. I'm fortunate to have him, even if I'm not his girlfriend anymore, because if I didn't have someone to talk to for the past few nights, I wouldn't be here anymore, right now...at all.

My life has taken a dramatic turn for the worse. I'm emotionally/mentally unbalanced, I'm pmsing and a day late, so far, for a certain auntie, my friends are turning their backs on me (or, in dannii's case, their computers are, lol), the site I went to to talk about my problems (forums.teenhelp.org) hasn't worked for a week now, my boyfriend...is now the boyfriend of another, I've lost my reason to live, and my life is falling apart.

I've cried for the last week and I'm pathetic...

And I just want to be heard...

And being "just friends" with an ex is as difficult as it sounds.

*smashes head against computer screen* WHY. WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME.

>_<;;;

Blah...

No one else was listening...so...pathetic me is posting this here...

The rain..

It soaks my fur and chills me like life itself. It is Death, placing his cool hand upon my shoulder, his bones true, unlike the pelt of the name in his honor. I don't like the rain. I don't like the beautiful purple, no...the indigo flowers that stand on every hill and every slope, every crevasse, not waving in the nonexistant, lie of a wind.

I want them all to break. Their stems to snap and crackle as the thunder beams us up into its hollow of fear, and the wind steals the breath unneeded by the greedy little fawns who do not know how lucky they are.

My silver pelt is wet. My crying won't help it dry off.