White Flame :: A Story Abandoned

Verdalas's picture

He stood, a magnificent cavalier, upon the mandate of paradise,
His eyes obsidian and laced with ruby.
With the verdure of a King in his prime
And the grace of a breeze able to turn to a typhoon,
His focus moved across the province.


There she stood, a glistening gem of alabaster,
Her eyes golden and laced with beryl.
With the serenity of an Angel from the heavens
And the voice of a diva able to pacify a storm,
She revealed herself with song.


There they stood, together, a beacon of happiness,
With the cosmos as their playground.
With their shared compassion only paramount
And their rapturous forms embraced,
Their future of anguish was concealed.


Then alone he stood, perturbed and afraid,
Taking in the sight of his fallen beloved.
Just able to speak, He inquired of his pearl,
"By whose hand were you slain, my love?"
Lips tainted crimson could only reply:

"The strike came from you, dear one."


Just bumping this for people who might miss it.

This little piece of.. Whatever it is, is loosely based around a plot idea I had for Walter. However, due to the more recent "no moar violence!" outcry, it probably won't come to pass, especially now that I've revealed it.

What I had intended, was for Walter to finally find his love. However, in his overwhelming compassion for her, he smothered her to the point where he killed her accidently. The reactions, responses and consequences would be totally down to all you people as the community who would have wanted to have been involved. But like I said, since the idea of violence is rejected in TEF, this will no longer occur.



Zergarikiaka's picture

I find it both beautiful and

I find it both beautiful and ironic. If violence wasn't rejected now I'd say go for it.
*similarly is putting Darkweaver's plot on hold due to the 'no violence' thing*

Acurna's picture

I think it sounds like a

I think it sounds like a wonderful story myself, but that is my opinion.

Either way, it was written beautifully.
Fenqua's picture

I'm a sucker for plots. I

I'm a sucker for plots. I kinda like this one, although it seems a bit depressing. I mean, I'd love for Walter to find his true love but it would be really sad if he accidentally killed her! The poor guy, going through so much misery! XD

But it's an interesting story plot. Maybe, instead of placing this plot in Forest, you can write about it? I don't think anyone would object. :3



To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul


To pray is to believe, to believe is to purify one's soul

....O:!

....O:Exclaim! -doesntknowwhattosaybutfindsitintriguing-

-- Dannii <3
Verycrazygirl's picture

I'd love it But yeah...

I'd love it

But yeah... xD;

Pegasicorn's picture

o.o I am intrigued... And

o.o I am intrigued...
And yea, like other people have said, no one would object if this were written.

---
The Dragonfly Deer's Biography
Pega's Forest Philosophy: "Look for Friends. Let Love find you."
"If you don't like something, tolerate it."
Kaoori's picture

I would have love to have

I would have love to have seen someting like this Sad
Please at least continue to write.
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I'm a little wolf inside a girl.

Lightbringer-apprentice to Yorres