“Darkness
Where am I?
What have I done?
Oh… I remember.
… I remember everything.
Is she dead? Did I kill her?
I killed her.
Again.
I opened my eyes. I laid I a giant field of blue flowers. I rose my head. Butterflies danced above my head, their colors shone bright against the black sky. I looked around. Although the sky was black, everything was bathed in warm sunshine. I couldn’t see the end of the flowerfield.
Where was I?
… did I…. did I die?
Or… did the gods finally banish me from the forest?
Oh… my foolish child…
A soft voice whispered in my ear.
I turned my head again. A red stag sat by my side.
"… oh child…"
This voice… that was not a stag, it was a doe.
An antlered doe.
”I… I…”
I started to stutter, stopped again.
I lowered my eyes. I was ashamed.
Silence.
”I am… I am sorry…”
Words, pathetic words. As if any word of me could ever excuse what I had done.
But for some reasons I couldn’t stop talking…
”I.. I don’t wanted to… this mask… this beautiful mask.. and then she woke up… this feeling! Oh this terrible feeling… and then the blood, I didn’t want to…I am sorry… I am so very sorry, I didn’t want to…”
“Be quiet, child.”
Her voice was still soft. No anger, just a little regret.
“Child…
We gave you the light,
we gave you the life.
But you brought darkness again.
We are sorry, foolish child.
We didn’t think you would fall again.
We thought your time had come.
We are sorry, child.”
This feeling in my chest…
… what was this… so strong…
”But… I.. I am still the one I used to be…
I am still the monster… that…”
My voice broke.
The doe started to smile
“You changed…”
I was confused.
Suddenly anger rose inside my heart.
”What? I changed?! You mean I am a murderer now, not only a thief ?!”
I knew it was foolish and disrespectful to yell at a god, even now, in a situation like this, with blood on my antlers.... but this had to be said...
Suddenly a thought struck my mind.
”The doe! …
did she… did I…?”
The anger was gone, only the feeling of guilt remained.
The doe shook her head.
She didn't say a word...
... but I could read it in her eyes.
My heart god heavy.
Out.
”Oh…”
My voice broke again.
Suddenly I felt sick.
“You brought death, again.”
It felt like something cold reached for my heart.
It was silent for a while.
Then I repeated my pathetic words.
”I… I am sorry…”
I felt something running down my face. Tears?
The antlered doe turned her elegant head.
“We are sorry, child.
We thought your time had come
You started to feel again
You opened your eyes again
You started to care
We thought you were ready for a new life
Prepared for a new future.
We made a mistake.
You fell again.”
I noticed that the blue of the flowers vanished. They started to wither. They died...
”Will you banish me?”
I asked calmly. I knew what I had done, I knew… I had to leave now.
I noticed that my tears where black… as black as the sky above…
“No.”
I turned my head…
”But…”
“We will punish you for your act
But we won’t punish others
To banish you from the forest
Would hurt those who love
Would punish those who care
You shall loose your body again
Your shadows shall return to you
You shall not be able to wear a mask, a pelt or antlers again
But…
… you shall keep your heart
It shall be the vessel for your feelings
This time you shall be able to control them
May this will heal your soul
… to make you able to face your shadows
… to defeat your longings
Furthermore…
… there will be a task for you to fulfill:
There are many hearts out there in the forest
Many of them are filled with joy
Many of them are filled with life
But there are some…
That are filled with sadness
That are filled with darkness
… like yours
Light your own heart
To save you
Light their heart
To save them”
I listened breathlessly. The whole time I watched the flowers wither…
I didn’t dare to look up to the doe.
I knew what she was talking about... ... whom she was talking about...
... but... how...
... how should I ever face someone... her... again...
... with this heavy guilt.
“We gave you a new life
You threw it away
Defeat your shadows once and for all
Open your heart for others
For those who care
And you shall get another chance.”
The flowers were dead now. Something fell down from the sky. Butterflies.
They stopped their eternal dance… they died with the flowers.
The mysterious light started to vanish. The more the light darkened, the weaker I got.
I felt tired all of the sudden… my heart got colder.
"what...happenes...tome...?"
I mumbled while I fell down
“You die"
"But...you...said..."
“Hush now, my child…”
Coldness fill my body… it was heavy to breath…
… the darkness crept near.
"Be sure... you won't be alone anymore..."
The last thing I saw was a single golden butterfly falling down from the sky, landing on the petals of the dead flowers.
I stopped breathing.
As I closed my eyes a blinding light emerged from the darkness.
It floated towards me…
… surrounded me…
… formed a sign.
The shadows became deer… the silhouettes became trees…
There were flowers around me… blue flowers
I was in the forest again.
I lifted my head. I felt dizzy and I was confused.
Didn’t the doe said… that I die?
I looked around. This was the forest like I knew it.
I looked down on me…
… this was the body I knew…
… the bony, decayed body.
Suddenly I understand.
That was what she meant… by dying.
I slowly hot up on my hooves. The dizziness vanished.
For a second… I got the feeling that I just woke from a dream…
… a strange, cruel dream…
… but a foreign but familiar sound told me…
… it wasn’t a dream.
Badum
Badum
Badum
I could hear a heart beat
Badum
Badum
Badum
I could feel a heart beat
Badum
Badum
Badum
My heart beat…”
"Promise me, never cry for me.
Never cry for the things I do.
You have your own life, don't destroy it by regretting my sins.
I am finished, you can't save me"
"But I can try it. I don't want you to be sad, let me help you, please..."
"You can help me, by enjoying your own life.
By never giving up...
... will you peomise me to stop crying? To be happy again? To go on again?
That's all I ask you for."
"I promise."
- Conversation with a friend -
fallen and faded, but not forgotten
I'll keep my promise.
I had a bad feeling he actually killed the doe that’s why I portrayed it that way in the comic. As for the writing I wish I could come up with words to describe. All I can say is amazing. there is true emotion behind these stories. <3
"...what... what have I done..."
I had a bad feeling he
Hehe thanks
Yes.. at first I didn't wantef that.. but then... I had the feeling that it had to be the consequence ^^; (cruel me...)
And yes.. In the end... the emotions for them grew stronger... for different reasons...
again... thank you =)
oh and.. good night xD *1 o'clock in the morning here*
A lovely ending.
The world is quiet here.
Happy Thanksgiving!
.....aaaawww. =( Well,
You´re awesome writer. <3
thank you again
pff.. awesome writer... well *blush*
This is marvellous
I loved reading this, thank you.