November 4, 2009 - 11:56am — MyuNoUta
*Will put more info later*
EDIT: Coding is a pain in the ass; I'm sorry that the one chorus line isn't colored, but the coding won't let it work, and I've been trying to fix it for the last 5-10 minutes. I'm fed up with trying to fix it.
I really wish I could have remembered what I wrote out originally, because I know for a fact that it was twice as epic as what I've rewritten. FML =/
Story's told in Myu's POV, but it's not all blue, because I want people to actually read it, and not bitch about how the text is hurting their eyes. Blue text signifies speech only in this one.
Song lyrics used are from the song "Manic," by Plumb.
::Nothing I Say Will Wash It Away::
She breathes in,
She breathes out...
The sun peeks through the trees, touching me, caressing me, as if trying to bring out of this sorry, miserable state.
It could be worse, it seems to say.
Bullshit, I spit back, my anger seeping, like a wound left to fester.
Oasis and the fawn may have cheered me up, but only slightly.
Just slightly.
When Oasis left, and the fawn went to romp with others of their age, I retreated back to the comfort of the Ruins, allowing my thoughts to tear me asunder again, like a predator lustfully ripping his prey apart.
It's not my fault. It's not my fucking fault.
She wakes up,
And lays down...
A quiet snorting noise cuts the air. Glancing down at the white doe sleeping beside me, my mind beings to boil over, like water left to heat too long.
She sleeps so quietly, so soundly, as if nothing can bother her. She is a blanket of diamond snow in a world of plain dirt.
Kita...your fur is so white, so pure, how can you be an abomination, as he puts it? You have a heart sweeter than a Red Delicious; you have a personality more outgoing than a 3 year old.
And he has the nerve, the gall, to proclaim you as an abomination?
How dare he spit such words of scorn. How dare he sling such vile, despicable words.
He is a stain of blood upon a fine carpet; an incomplete disaster, claiming justice, when all he speaks is hearsay.
And you used to be so fond of him...what happened, my dear?
Fuck you and your puns.
She can hardly speak,
And so she screams...
Yes, I remember when I first met him; he was so kind, so virtuous, I had thought he was one of the Gods himself. His words enveloped me, encouraged me, to seek out the truth, and to survive it. I adored him, I loved him, but not in that "yucko-crush way," as I had described it. He was like another parent to me, someone I could talk to, to run to when I needed the wisdom, the comfort to push me forward.
He told me to keep pursuing the past, to find whatever truth there was; he promised that I would survive it, he goddamn promised me. And he was right.
Yes, the past was so torn, so broken, that I felt like I was choking. And despite the horrible truths I had learned, I chose to live on. I chose to survive.
I chose to survive, dammit.
I won't give again,
Because she takes so often...
I was so happy, so ecstatic when became a full grown doe. A beautiful magpie, a bright darkness, almost enhancing the ice blue of my eyes. I felt so complete, so beautiful. I truly felt like the past was distant from me;
I am my own now.
It was a symbol of my choice; my choice to move on, to remove the past, to shatter my past, like a mirror reflecting a translucent shadow.
This is who I am.
I remember how much I wanted to tell him my story, to show him just how much I had grown. I wanted to show him just how much strength his words gave me. I wanted to thank him for everything he told me and done for me.
[=#0099FF]I was so grateful to him.
So imagine my surprise when all he does is bow, and quickly walk away. I chased him, oh, I chased him. I couldn't figure out his behaviour, his attitude.
I call out to him, wondering if maybe he can't remember me...
He turns to face me, and I swear I can see a spark of recognition upon his face; only to be quickly sullied by a frown, cutting across his face like a knife through butter.
Please refrain from being near me, young doe.
For a moment, the world stops.
Nothing I say will wash it away,
I'm standing in the pouring rain.
Is he speaking to someone else? I turn around, looking for another deer, but there's no one there.
No one except me.
He walks away again. I follow him, perhaps thinking something is on his mind.
Don't you remember me!?
He turns again; however this time, he faces me directly.
His antlers guiding him every step of the way.
I do not mean to offend you, young doe, but you are an abomination to this Forest.
You say it won't happen again,
You're manic, manic...
Stop the time. Stop the fucking time.
What did you just say to me!?
Your pelt is no better, either. Again, I'm sorry for offending you, but I do not wish to be graced by your presence, ever.
He walks away for the final time, my heart stopping, my breath bating.
An...abomination? What for? What did I do?
No this...can't be right...this can't be right!
There's a chemical in your brain,
It's pouring sunshine and rage...
Teeth gritting. Blood trickling. It's all so sickening.
And yet, oh so fucking beautiful.
I lay by my lonesome, under the leaning rock. Well, I am not entirely alone.
A young, striped stag is keeping me company. He sleeps so calmly, so carelessly, that his words seem to be playing tricks upon itself.
You can never know what to expect,
You're manic, manic...
Oh how I am tempted, so tempted, to rip this stag from his peaceful, blissful sleep, to pin him to the ground, to press myself upon him, to force his eyes to look at mine, and ask him...
Am I truly an abomination?
But I do not. I hold my insanity back, my body shaking, shuddering, from the effort.
I do not wish to frighten this stag. I do not wish to harm this stag. I do not wish to sully his pure coat with my presumed filth.
Luis, can you please wake up, can you please talk to me, can you please make me feel happy, and warm, and...
wanted...?
But he sleeps like a babe....
She loves you,
And hates you...
A bump to my side rips me from my thoughts. Kita shifts in her sleep, her body close to mine now.
Oh how warm you are, Kita. You are warm just like the sun. How can someone so white, so pure, accept me, when my mind bleeds darkness?
I'm a fucking manic, Kita, and yet, you smile so sincerely, so joyfully whenever you grace my presence. I am grateful, so truly grateful that you are willing to be near me, to grace me, with your presence.
He, on the other hand, can go to Hell.
You break down,
She feels good...
You know nothing. You claim we are an abomination, but what proof do you have? The Gods created this Forest for everyone, not just you, and all other stags who step upon this soil. We are the ones who give birth to the future, we are the ones that, for the most part, attempt to keep some sort of peace within this Forest. And yet you view us with such distaste, such disgust, as if we're the very darkness you wish to vanquish.
You claim your heart is for justice, but what an injustice you serve to us. You may have brothers within this realm, but what of the sisters? Yes, sisters. If you consider stags blood, then we does are blood as well.
She will bleed from insecurity...
Did you know from the start what would become of me? Surely, my gestures, my voice, would have clued you in to my gender. You may not have known by story, but you must have known what I was to become.
And yet, you let me tag along, you spoke to me, you looked at me, you accepted me for who I was. You gave such encouraging words, you were like a fucking father to me. And yet, I become an adult, and you choose to disown me, to disgrace me, and those I hold dear to me.
Why must I be thrown to the side, like a doll with no further use?
When will she heal from this?
I love her still...
Can you not see? If what you say is true, then why not take an example from the other stags; you claim stags were here first, and it's your Forest; so then...why do most stags accept mates, entangle themselves with the so-called heathens you wish to reject? They nuzzle their mates, they keep them warm and safe at night...
It's true, I have no mate. And yet every stag I've known, every stag I've spoken to, save a few, were so kind, so gentle, so content with giving me their heat when my heart and body were frozen. And I loved them, not in that way, but it's a certain feeling that makes me feel like I'm wanted, like I'm accepted.
She's got everything you want,
She's every little thing you're not...
And there's one thing you're the most mistaken of. You wish to fight the darkness and evil that is within this world. You wish to chase it, to purge it, to render it asunder. To remind it that the light is more powerful, more enduring....
Nothing I say will wash it away,
....And yet, you forget one tiny detail...
I'm standing in the pouring rain.
...something so seemingly small...
You say it won't happen again,
...that the true gravity of it eludes you...
You're manic, manic.
Don't think you can escape it...
There is a chemical in your brain,
....because it will find you...
It's pouring sunshine and rage,
...and I will laugh at your disgrace...
You can never know what to expect,
Darkness sleeps within all of us...
You're manic, manic...
...Including you.
The Priest walks up to her
I think you may have forgotten to add an end code to the bold on the line above. If not, just look back a few lines and see if you put the [ / whatever ] . I have that same problem all the time. ^^
Otherwise, nice emotion. Still love it. <3
It makes me so happy to read about my characters (even if they're getting fully torn down x3).
~Buddha
There's one small problem
*Points to ""The Present"*
This is AFTER she found out about her past, lulz 8D
*Will provide serious response tomorrow, just wanted to fill 'im in =3*
Ah. :3 Well, he doesn't know
And he was supposed to be my good character. xDD
Alright. ^^
~Buddha
I guess that could happen,
But Psycho Myu is so fun to write....Dx
Btw, I checked the codings, and everything had an end tag...blah, I'll probably check it again tomorrow, it's already about 5:30am here Dx
Oh my. o.o He has patience
He gets so much flack over this. xDD
I know what you mean. Psycho Lantern has been so fun (he's slowly/quickly losing it |D).
Hrm. Maybe something is backwards (like a ] instead of a [) or spelled wrong? Or something's missing a # sign?
~Buddha
I like this, it makes me
I always seem to have to leave somewhere when she finally meets up with you ~.~ I was dreading having to log off :<
It did not matter that her
Toxic Nightmare was laying beside her, his body racked with pain. She knew not what had happened to him, but she let him lay beside her, out of pity and curiosity. He had been kind to her, pawing the ground, tilting his head; she was shocked that she had understood his request, and she had nodded, allowing him to lay beside her.
It had been like this for several hours; despite waking up a few times, grunting and writhing in his sleep, she maintained her posture, watching over him like a mother watching over a child.
What worried her the most was the presence of The Priest; she could feel a tinge of darkness escaping the stag's body, and she feared that he would retaliate.
She contemplated ignoring The Priest, but she decided against it. His words burned her like a hand on a hot stove, and she couldn't ignore him, couldn't refuse this challenge to her ideals.
Standing up slowly, deliberately, she quietly pawed the Earth. She prayed this wouldn't take long; she didn't want to stress the stag laying beside her any more than he already was.
The air around her shuddered; her presence became stunning, the moon reflecting the shine of her coat; she was a deadly angel, someone with something to protect, trying to entice her calm air, trying to keep her insanity from embracing her again.
Taking in a deep breath, shoving her insanity into the backround, her stares him down, her ice blue depths searing into him, and, for the first time in a long time, speaks to him, her voice devoid of emotion, save for the small emphasis upon certain words, a small hint of her anger quietly, yet boldly leaking through:
And who are you, to question what I know, and do not know? I did not say more than what I already knew; that is a fact, whether you choose to believe me or not.
She leaves her sentence hanging for a moment, before continuing:
Perhaps I am a fool. But such is my issue, and not yours. If you had thought me a fool, you would have been better off ignoring me, to leave me to destroy myself. And yet, here you come prancing towards me, your eyes cold and relentless, speaking to me as if I were an imbecile. Such an act is foolish in its own right, do you not think so?
Nightmare shifts slightly, bumping her leg. She looks down at him, a sorrowful look sewn onto her face. She pities him having to deal with this, if he can even hear and feel what is happening. Mooing a quiet apology to him, she glares at The Priest, her patience beginning to truly wane.
You claim I have not faced evil. Do not play me for something so outright false. I have seen evil, I have felt evil, I have tasted evil. My story is filled with it; do not mistake me for someone so innocent so as to not have experienced it. Indeed, evil can plague the heart, but if you are strong, you can fight it. That is what happened to me; it tried to subdue me, to kill me; but I made my choice. I survived.
She breathes slowly again, pondering whether or not her words are either registering, or if he's simply staring at her.
My goal is not to tear you down. I have no plans to stalk you in your sleep, and infect you with my thoughts. As far as you are concerned, I have no true goal. I looked up to you as a fawn, and you disgraced me when I came of age. As you have disgraced all my doe friends.
She stomps the ground, emphasizing her anger with the current point. Now, the air has begun to heat up, like a furnace preparing to roast a meal.
I do not care for the history of this Forest. The past is the past; you cannot change it, nor alter it. To do such is to bend the will of time and space, corrupting the great balance established. Even though remnants of the past can haunt me, more often than not, I choose to throw it aside; this however, I shall not let go of for a long time; it is occurring right now. Your discrimination of the does may be rooted in the past, but it's full effect is here, written in the present. This I cannot ignore.
Nightmare begins to cough, and Myu's temper begins to flare again. She does not wish for trouble because of this. This stag is clearly suffering, and she does not wish to aggravate his pain with her own darkness.
Surely, your hatred of does is a darkness within itself, she continues. You may think it's not, but darkness disguises itself in the most unlikely ways; that is how it survives. I do not care what happens to you from here on out; nor do I care for your so-called sentiments either. I am who I am; you are, who you are. I advise you to tend to your own affairs, and leave me to mine. I am only concerned with what happens to those whose company I keep; you ought to do the same.
Laughing haughtily, she looks at The Priest; here was someone who had been like a father to her; now, he was a complete and utter stranger. It amused her how simply things can change; remembering his last words, she raises her head high, letting him know just how far she has come:
I sought my past. I already know my past, if you haven't caught on yet. There is no need to voice such a ridiculous statement. As you have said, 'Never claim what is beyond your knowledge, for it only serves to make you a fool.' By coming here, you have no only caught me at the worse time possible, but you have also expressed fear for something that has already happened. You are the true fool. I would prefer if you never came to see me again; while forgiveness could be possible, until you change your ways, you are a stranger to me.
She stands over Nightmare protectively, posturing to get her point across. She has cut her ties; she shall never look back.
And she hopes, that he doesn't either.
While she had kept her voice unwavering for the most part, her last words to him are soaked with venom; it is unclear if Nightmare is influencing her, but she has let her true anger creep through, like a serpent through a crack in the wall.
Glowering at him, she expresses a most sincere order.
Leave us. Now.
Lol yeah, I noticed that.
"Fool." He growls, moving
"This is the company you choose to keep, I see. I question what you know for you are still young. Your temper covers your thoughts, blackening them. You are not holy, you are not pure, and you do not have wisdom. You claim more than you know by claiming these things. You claim you have faced evil; you would know it should you look within yourself. I, too, have faced evil that would wish me dead; I have survived, will survive. You let the blackness seep from your soul, coating others around you. You claim to fight it, yet it fills your own existence." He looks directly into her eyes. "I claim not to be pure. I am not. I have failed many; yet many more I have helped. One must often sacrifice to achieve one's purpose.
"As for why I am here, I do not know. One might know that creatures of the light are often drawn to those of the dark. Perhaps I am trying to help you. Or perhaps it is simply my temper, not allowing me to back down when another is so wrong.
"I treat you as a fool simply because you act as one."
He looks into the distance for a moment, quickly refocusing. He chuckles dryly. "It has happened before. I do not fear you. Say what you wish; your "doe friends" were already in disgrace before I arrived.
"You may not care, but it will impact you. You do not know of evil until you know of its roots. The past may be the past, but I shall remember it; I do not wish to make the same mistakes I once made. I shall not. You might do well to look upon your own mistakes. You feel that I am I sick creature; I see it in your eyes, your very features." He nods once, still keeping eye contact and attempting to ignore the waves of sickness coming upon him.
"I am no sick creature; this forest was laid for my brothers. At best, does are but brothers who hide their true identity, affected with sickness. I am concerned with expelling the evil from this forest; many of the does I have met are evil, foolish creatures. They are not meant to be here, but I cannot help it. I cannot like what I do not like. I will not. You care not? I fear for the deer who ceases to care, yet I do not wish your sympathy. I do not wish the care of one so foolish." He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. He reopens them, blinking.
"I came but to defend myself of these accusations; do not mistake it for care of you. I am here in this forest simply for a purpose ordained by the Gods, and I care for that. Your trifles are of no matter to me."
He glances at her. "Your pride, too, is folly. You know of your past, yet you do not care of the past. I am correct to fear what you had found; it has twisted you beyond repair. I need not your forgiveness; there is nothing to forgive. I consider you not a stranger, but a poor fool darkened beyond belief-and enemy. Yet, I shall never act upon that. I have never wished harm upon you. I wish only that you might see." He steps forward, fighting the sickness, to stand nearby Nightmare.
"Poor fool. I suppose you do not see his true nature. Ah well. I leave you to your fate, as you wish. May you some day learn what you have not yet." He chuckles mirthlessly at the order.
"Now, doe, you do not have the power to order my leavetaking. This forest belongs to none, and the place in which you stand is one where my brothers once lived. You stand upon their bodies. I shall not order you to leave, for, foolish as you are, I know you shall not. Good day...and do not start a war that you cannot win." He turns his back on her, walking quickly away, disguising the odd moisture in his eyes.
((Hard to read, sorry. o.o))
~Buddha
(No, ish alright. Only
(You know what the funny part is? I honestly don't even really like RPing...and yet, here I am, RPing. ROFL 8D)
(Okay...*Starts cranking up music* Let's see what I can whip out 8D)
~~~
Foolishness and blindsightiness is one thing.
But hypocrisy and arrogance are other matters entirely.
She moves forward, preventing him from getting any closer to the stag sleeping on the ground, hopefully oblivious to the heat incinerating the air.
Yet, despite her temper flaring, she, again, keeps her voice level yet strong, emphasizing only the strongest of words. She does not glance away from him; he does not frighten her, and she makes sure he knows it.
Do not insult those whose company I choose to keep. She continues to stare him down, her hoof wavering slightly above the ground. I have the right to choose whom I desire to be by my side. Nightmare is within my presence because I allow him too be. I know of his two sides, and yet, do you see him trying to attack me? I do not think so. He has not wrought injury upon me, so I do not retaliate. If I had deemed him hostile, I would not have allowed him near.
She lowers her hoof so it's just barely touching, caressing the ground. Nightmare is still out of it, and for that, she is thankful. She continues.
Did I ever claim that I had no temper? Did I ever once say that I was pure and wise, and all of these wonderful little adjectives you attempt to sling at me, much the way a rabbit throws snow into a wolf's eyes, in an attempt to escape? I think not. I do, however, dispute your hideous claims that I pollute my own company. This is a complete farse, as far as I'm concerned. They may be within my presence, and yet, they are much more pure than I. Kita, the white doe, she is such; even in my state of lunacy, she stays by my side; she knows of my two halves, and yet, she graces me with her presence; she still smiles upon me, she still dances and plays with me. She is strong in her will to rouse my happiness, and that is what she does.
She pauses, slightly amused.
Every deer that I know chose to be in my company; I enjoy it, but I do not entirely seek it. If I was as evil, as filthy as you label me, they would have steered clear. And yet, they do not.
She pauses again, seemingly even more amused.
So you understand that you cannot save everyone, as you seem to be doing? Sacrifices; I know of those that sleep within my past, I know of those that others whisper to me; such a negative, and yet, positive word. I would almost say that everything revolves around sacrifices, but perhaps, that's too negative for even me.
She thinks a little, pooling her thoughts into words, letting them flow like an endless river.
Ah, yes, opposites do attract you know, she grins slightly, knowing exactly who she is referring to. And yet, the little one remains touchable, if somewhat more emotional, when in the presence of the giant. He does not let the giant's, nor his own darkness cloud him, like a black storm casting overhead. As I have pointed out earlier, not everyone is prone to complete infection from the darkness.
You cannot claim what is right or wrong, especially when you yourself are within the wrong. I do not mean to say that I am right; I am, however, more inclined to relay my sympathy to those whom you shun for no true reason.
She inches closer, shaking her head in disdain.
You claim that does were in disgrace long before your arrival, and yet again, what proof do you have? Everything exists for a reason. The Gods created us does; I do not know the reason behind it, but if we were birthed from their own hands, then our creation is not meant to be a disgrace, as you tastelessly put it. Perhaps you just wish to prove that your gender is better than ours, when in actuality, we are technically equal.
Thinking upon his words to her after that, she inches closer, until their noses nearly touch.
Don't I disgust you? You label me as a carrier of darkness, sick with impurities, an enemy, as you put it; shouldn't you recoil in disgust, throw dirt upon my eyes, render me asunder with your so-called justice? Shouldn't I be the sacrifice for your "greater good?" How dare you claim you know my eyes, my features, when you can't even be bothered to truly understand me. You do not know who I am; do not label me with such infuriating falsities.
Nightmare shifts again, and Myu takes a brief moment to look behind her, to make sure he is alright. She sees The Priest shift, and she swiftly looks upon him again, her eyes level, her voice tame, yet powerful.
The truth is... She inches even closer, her forehead now touching his, breathing slowly yet meticulously. I was not the one who made the mistakes. I was an innocent babe who was thrown into chaos with no rhyme, nor reason. I was used, I was betrayed, I was left to die. And yet, the Gods chose to spare me, and brought me here, into this Forest. You cannot blame a child for any true wrongdoing, especially when it is not of their will; you have not seen what I have seen, you have not heard what I have heard, you have not felt what I have heard. If you had, you would have understood.
She pulls away from him, hoping her words were absorbed in his thick, arrogant skull. If she was any more insane, she would have loved to rip it open, to watch it spill forth and soak the sacred ground.
But even at her most insane, she would never do such. She would defend herself, oh yes, but she would never harm someone when they didn't truly deserve it. Nor would she hurt them if they weren't worth the effort required.
It is true that I carry pride, she begins again. I am proud of who I am now, in the present. I do not look to the past, because the past is not necessary for me anymore. I have grown since then; I have learned what I have wished to learned. Now, it is time for me to move on, to embrace the present and future. If you cannot let go of the past, you will never survive tomorrow.
She backs up a little bit, soaking in the moonlight. Oh, how delightful it feels upon her skin.
She can't refute it; she knows of the darkness within her heart, she knows it is more pronounced than most. And yet, the past has nothing to do with it. Despite betrayal in the past, it was not of her own accord; the betrayal before her now is something new, something grotesque. She wished for a happy, quiet life, and yet, this entity, this...thing standing before her prevents her from such.
And also, she begins again, posturing slightly, You are the hypocrite upon this stage. You claim you do not care for me, and yet, what is with the tears that stain your face? What was with the look of worry you proposed to me? You claim you do not worry, but your actions do not justify such; make up your mind.
Nightmare is still within a deep sleep; perhaps his pain, his injuries were worse than she thought. But she cannot seek help at this hour; for now, as long as he breathes, as long as he shifts in his sleep, as long as he mumbles every now and then, he is fitter than a broken dove.
And again, She beings to let her fury bubble over slightly. I know of his two halves; but do not label one as the true form. They are both a part of who he is, of what makes him himself. It is my decision as to who I allow in my presence; as I have said before, perhaps I am a fool, as you put it. But as I have also said, keep yourself away from my affairs. He is hurting, he is in pain; I shall lay beside him and comfort him until he decides I am of no use to him. As I have said, should he be hostile, I shall defend myself. But until then, he is nothing more than a broken stag, someone who came to me, someone who asked me, if it would be okay to do so. And I allowed him. Compared to yourself, he is a far fairer creature than you will ever be. In my eyes, you are far beneath him; he does not persecute, he does not look upon does with the disdain you provide. Same goes for everyone else whom keeps me company.
She glances behind her again, reassuring herself that Nightmare has no joined the conscious world yet.
I told you to leave because you disgrace me, disgust me, for no reason. You look upon my company much the same. How do I know you are aware of who he really is? While you are sensitive to the darkness within others, you do not seem sensitive to the darkness that sleeps within yourself. Arrogance. Hypocrisy. These are just small tastes of darkness, and yet, you ignore it, letting ignorance defy you. I am not claiming that I know you inside and out, but as I have said before, there is a little bit of darkness within everyone; it is to what extent it is displayed that counts.
But it's his final words that push her again; her fury bubbles again, and she shakes her head, tossing it aside, refusing to let it fully emerge.
She slinks towards him, like a sick child begging for medicine. Again, she presses her head against his, making sure he is looking into her eyes directly, so he can see the truth, the oh-so harsh, yet proper truth.
I started no war, she hisses, letting him feel the atmosphere turn red hot. You came here, slinging filth at me and Nightmare. If you had chosen to ignore my words as you seemed to be wanting to, this would have never happened. You insinuated my anger...
She glowers at him, her venom almost tasteable.
You started this needless war. Farewell.
She calmly walks over to Nightmare again, resting her head upon his shoulders.
((Oh dear. D: xD! I guess
xD! I guess that's good!))
He whips around, staring directly into her eyes, subtly trying to push her backwards. The fury can be seen beginning to alight in his eyes, the moisture drying easily.
"You abject fool. Your insanity blinds you to everything beyond your own muzzle. Foolish doe, let him infect you. Let him spread his darkness upon your soul.
"You claim it with the claims you make about myself; you put yourself above me. Filthy? Your soul is dirtier than you shall ever see. You repulse me, fool.
Does were not made by their hands. They came. They spread through this forest. Now, they cannot be eliminated. We are not equal, you and I. Your soul has fallen so far that it has become and shall become a part of the greater darkness. You cannot be redeemed.
"I do not know you. I do not wish to. I thought perhaps that you would be reasonable, but I see that I have been foolish in believing such. I feel pity for you and what your fate will be; may you die in the darkness that has raised you.
"You use my Gods as an excuse, a childish fantasy that you wish to believe. You were not brought to this forest by the Gods, fool. Had you seen what I had seen, heard what I had heard, you might have a scrap of knowledge. No, you have not. Would that they had left you to-" He cuts off, shaking his head, then continues.
"You do not see. I embrace the past that I might be prepared for the future. I embrace y past and my mistakes; I accept them. Do you?" His voice becomes hoarse and choked. "I care for what I once thought you were; I believed that I used to care. Now? You are lowly, not worth my notice. Has your past revealed such darkness within you? Good. It is time that you discovered such. He snorts, still attempting to push her back.
"You claim you know my faults, yet you see his...and accept them. His darkness oozes from his soul, and it is this which you ignore. I am not the only hypocrite here. When he harms you, do not come to me. It will be the fault of yourself only.
"My Gods have accepted me; I have redeemed my faults. He does not. You do not." His lips curl in distaste, but he stays staring into her eyes, coldly, eyes like steel.
"Had you chosen not to speak those words, I would not be here. Acknowledge your part in this. I did nothing to insinuate your anger; I merely defended myself. You, my dear, do not control your temper. You let it run with you.
"I do not 'sling filth' either. I tell truths, not lies. Can you say as much for yourself?
"Now, doe, I did not start this war. Look inside yourself before accusing others. I suggest you not accuse me of wrongdoing where there is none." He watches her go to Nightmare, then turns around and walks calmly away.
~Buddha
(Took me almost two hours to
(It's 2 in the morning, and I really should be leaving this until tomorrow; but I'm currently hyper, so here goes nothing~!)
(This would be a really time to....*Turns on "Bloody Rabbit."* I need some faster music for this 8D)
~~~
She rises, her fury beginning to tip faster, spread faster. It's a rush, so annoying, yet so electrifying, that she cannot stop it now.
I am already "infected," you sniveling fool! Have you not noticed my fury, the way your sensitive body should!? Darkness is not fussy; it infects everyone, and only those who allow it to have its way let it seep through, as I am doing now.
She stomps on the ground, letting it echo through the Ruins.
I never said I was higher than you; if I had thought that, I would have ignored you outright. But I didn't; I pursued you, I shot back because you shot back at me and Nightmare.
She postures again, her movements dramatized to get the point across.
What proof do you have that does were not created by the hands of the Gods? You preach an awful sermon, with no concrete proof of it! You follow what your heart utters to you, what it whispers to you as you sit idly and think. You dare treat us as vermin now, you hopeless wreck!? Do realize that you speak with an iron tongue; claiming this and that, when you clearly have misguided yourself, and have blinded yourself to the truth of the present!
Nightmare mumbles incoherently, perhaps reflecting on a recent happening. Myu pricks her ears, but does not look behind her.
What proof do you have that I am completely demonic? Surely, if your attitude was better, you could have seen someone completely different; I do not wish to fool others; what part of me you see is what I deem you able to see; Perhaps if you weren't so foolhardy, I would have been more than glad to share my story, to share my past, to share the side of me that I truly treasure.
She stomps her foot again; she has stepped over the boundaries. But she refuses to go back.
But you prefer to look upon me, my sex, with such disdain; practically calling us vermin! Such a disgraceful way of speaking does not deserve a full-on audience.
She briefly, oh-so briefly allows herself to think upon the past. She snorts loudly, ready to take whatever he brings to her.
I was not raised in darkness. Those who cared for me raised me a proper child, taught me well, ensured that the darkness would not call my name needlessly. It was the darkness of another that awoke the darkness within me; I was raised within the light, but resurrected with a thin veil of darkness blanketing me. I know what I saw when I awoke. I saw the Gods, clear as day. They took pity upon me, allowed me into this world. You were not there when it happened; do not claim what you do not know. Such cowardice. If you have something to say to me, then say it. Or perhaps you do fear me?
She inches closer again, the moonlight casting its smile upon her again.
Just because I do not look upon the past does not mean that I have not accepted it. Again, she allows herself to reflect, if only for a fraction of a second. I accepted it when I learned it. I had a choice to make. I made my choice. And now, here I stand before you. Surely, I possess some strength, some will to carry on, and to live my life to the fullest, without being saddled with the feelings of the past.
She feels Nightmare's darkness skirt her feet. She quickly whisks it away.
I accepted his faults because he did not disown me! He did not look upon me and say, "You are an abomination to this world!" He came to me hurt, his eyes pleading for some comfort. And I have given it to him, because he deserves comfort.
She glances back at him, then turns to face The Priest.
You, on the other hand, disown our kind, treating it like something that will cause the death of this Forest. You are a goddamned fool, a bloody, blinded fool. At least you seem to be acknowledging your own crimes, fanatic. Should he choose to harm me, I will take my leave, I will lick my wounds, I will heal, and I will learn when it is safe to approach, and when it is better to leave him be.
Her lips form into a slight snarl, letting her anger wrap around her and him. All seems still, waiting with bated breath, wondering if perhaps a battle with break out. She glares back, his tempered steel frozen solid with her ice.
Your gods? Do not speak as if they belong to you, as if they are your plaything. The Gods visit all of us, they bless all of us. They do not belong to you, nor to anyone else; they are they're own beings, who come to us when they feel the urge to.
I was speaking to myself, I was not addressing you; is it wrong for me to speak my mind, without someone else running interference? I sling filth because you slung it first; do not call me out on something I did not truly start. Perhaps you speak truth at times, but you have barely uttered a word of truth here tonight.
She utters her last words, hoping that this will end it all.
Your wrongdoing began this ridiculous argument. Like I said, if you had let me reflect my thoughts in silence, in peace, none of this would have happened; perhaps someday, I would have came to you and asked for forgiveness, tell you everything of my past, my present, and what I wish for the future. But you have deemed me hostile, and have turned your back upon me. I will never seek you out; I will not take back my words. Begone.
She turns quickly, and again, lays down beside Nightmare, breathing hard. Her body shakes, trying to suppress her weariness, her prolonged anger. She huddles close to Nightmare, listening to his heart beat, attempting to seduce herself into sleep.
The Priest chuckles quietly,
"By all means, doe, let your anger control you. Let the darkness shift you. I shall no longer let it run my life. My Gods have decreed it, and thus I listen. You do not. Fall into your own darkness, doe, and come not looking for me to save you. I shall watch you."
He shakes his head, blinking, looking momentarily confused.
"One day, doe...Let the darkness leave you. Then perhaps I shall consider you once again."
He turns his back on her, finally, jogging off into the woods.
--
Short reply is short. DD: Sorry.
Also, your writing seems to have gotten even better.
I...write shorter responses? D: I don't describe them as much; he talks a lot more. xD
LOL.
Oh dear. x3
~Buddha
(I find that insanity
(Short reply is fine, I was planning on ending it after your post, regardless as to what happened.)
(Maybe I should just cut back on trying to write so much...I feel like I'm writing a mini-novel 8D;; )
~~~~~
She could just barely make out the words he said to her.
I shall watch you.
Hmph. Don't bother, she thought to herself, breathing deeply, preparing to succumb to sleep. It had been a long, fury-driven night; surely any longer, and she would be falling into a coma.
One day, doe...Let the darkness leave you. Then perhaps I shall consider you once again.
She can feel his dark smile, his dark eyes, she can hear his dark chuckle. He is trying to pressure her, to suffocate her...but even in a state of slumber, she does not buckle.
What did I tell you? she thinks to herself again. Darkness sleeps within everyone...including you. Don't think I can't feel the darkness you press unto me. But I will not buckle, I will not strain. I survived twice, I can do it thrice.
She quietly laughs mirthlessly, taking in the scent of the sleeping stag next to her. He smells of fresh earth, a sweet scent, that she gravitates to, huddling closer, furthering her push to the unconscious world.
She hears The Priest jog away from her, hearing the pausing caused by his limping. She smirks, her muzzle hidden underneath her leg.
It's only fair that you pay for your discrepancies.
Her world turns completely black, and she feels her body go limp. Nightmare still lingers beside her, still caught in a moment of bliss.
Sleep has finally taken her.
lol Luis can be such a lazy
dude? Where's my siggy> D8
"Oh Myu, how could you ever
She tilted her head slowly to the side, lowering it slightly to be eye level with the younger doe. "You are the most beautiful kind hearted doe whom I know, and I swear this to you on my life. You may think that I am pure and kind, and for the most part I suppose that I am but this is only because I try very hard. Everyone has darkness within their heart. You cannot stop that, but you can learn to live with it. I will admit I have had my fair share of fights, to the point where I was badly wounded but only wished to continue to fight and kill my opponent....but I am not proud of that fact." She lowered her head and looked away shamed
"I am still trying to make up to myself for the pain I have caused. But rather than pursue it and grieve on it, I appologized to myself and to the forest and am trying to make up to all. I will not fight anymore... and maybe everyone else should look inside themselves and realize this too. Especially that stag who has treated you so poorly.
He may call you an abomination, but you must decide if you are for yourself. Are you the scum of the earth? One whom others must fight or run from? Or are you what I know you to be?"
She moved forward, gently licking the young doe in comfort, nuzzling her "All will be well, do not worry. If you ever need one to come to, I am always here, and always will be. I swear to you, everything will be ok."
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*hits herself for not reading this sooner!* This was so beautifully written!!! I love how you describe Kita <3 It's so pretty I almost started crying!! lol *must get caught up on my reading! *goes to read any others I have missed* once again, beautiful!