this is not paradise

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(slight violence warning)

He found her at the playground, her favourite place.

The sound of small hooves approaching her.

The shaggy white fawn sat down next to her, a smile on its scarred face.

Jack bent down, kissed her on her cheek.

Nothing. Blank face, closed eyes.

"Wach auf, Schwesterlein.... wach auf..."
('Wake up, little sister.... wake up') he whispered into her ear.

No reaction.

The smile became a grin.

"Ich... ich habe mein Versprechen gehalten, hörst du, mein Herz? Jane?"
('I... I kept my promise, hear me, my love? Jane?')

Nothing.

His eyes narrowed. A bite in her neck, he tasted her blood.

"Mein Herz, wach auf, ich bin zurück... ja? Habe... habe mein Versprechen gehalten..."
('My love, wake up, I am back... yes? I kept.... kept my promise...')

Jane opened her eyes, empty look. She stared at him.

"Träumst du schon wieder..."
('Are you dreaming again...') she mumbled, closed her eyes again...

He growled, kicked her in her side.
She screamed, woke up with a start. Her eyes wide she stared down at him.

Again she screamed, fell back before him.
An unbelivable look on her face... unable to think...

...the fawn was still smiling, got up, kissed her on her cheek again.

"Hab.. hab doch gesagt... ich... ich halte... mein Versprechen, ja?"
('Told... told ya... I... I keep my promise, yes?') he grinned.

Another scream, suddenly her face brightened up, she jumped at him, threw him over, laughed, giggled.

"Ohhhh mein Gott bist du NIEDLICH! Jack!! Bruderherz!! Du bist so SÜSS! So klein!"

('Ohhh my god you are CUTE! Jack!! Dear brother! You are so SWEEt! So small!")
She lay on him, nuzzled him, cuddled him, kissed him.
He was just a fawn now... after all.. No chance for him to get free... she was stronger than him.

"Geh.. GEH RUNTER VON MIR! Dumme Schwester, hör auf damit! Hör auf damit!!"
('Let.. LET GO OFF ME! Stupid sister, stop that! Stop that!!') he screamed, he kicked, he bit...

Jane squealed, quickly got down from him... her face still bright... a happy smile on her lips.

"Wo... wo warst du... wo warst du blos?!"
('Where... where have you... where have you been?!')

He cursed, rolled on his site again.Shook his head... his earings made gently ringing noises.
Jack turned his head, grinned at her.

"Ich... ich war zu Hause, ja?... Und... und dahin werden wir jetzt zusammen zurück gehen...ja?"
(I... I was at home, yes?... And... and that's where we two will return to now, yes...?')

The bright look vanished from her face. The smile faded.
"W...was...?" ('W... what...?')

He nodded, his voice sounded excited.
"Oh, ja, ja... ich... ich war zurück... zurück .... da wo wir hingehören... und es ist ganz leicht ! He, he... wir... wir müssen hier nur sterben... und. dann. dann... werden wir endlich frei sein! Ja? Zusammen schaffen wir es, wir... wir müssen nur..."

('Oh, yes, yes...I... I was back... back... to where we belong... and it's so easy! He, he... we... we just have to die here... and then... then we will finally be free! Yes? Together we will make it, we... we just have to...')
He spoke fast, he was shaking with excitement.

Jane frowned... her face changed again... confusion... sadness...
"Aber... aber wir sind doch frei..."
('But... but we are free...')

"Was... ?" ('What...?') Now he sounded confused... he was still smiling.

"Wir... wir sind doch frei hier, oder?" ('We... wa are free here, aren't we?')

He made a disparaging noise.
"Das hier.. ist doch nur ein anderes Gefängnis... genau wie das aus dem wir kamen... du glaubst ernsthaft... ersnthaft das wir hier frei sind, ja? He he... ich sag dir was... das hier ist nur ein Traum... ein traum in dem wir beide eingesperrt sind, wie in unseren Zellen!"

('This... this is just another prison... just like the one, we came from... you... you seriously believe we are free here, yes? He, he... I tell you something... this is just a dream... a dream we are both locked in, just like we are locked in our cells!')

He glared at her.

"Und jetzt.... werden wir gehen!"
('And now, we will go!')

Jane stared at him. Her face changed again. A calm look now... somehow... grown up.
"Nein."
('No.')

Jack tilded his head.
"Was...?"
(What...?) his voice sounded cold... dangerously cold.

She shook her head
"Nein." ('No.')

Her voice was strong, like that day before they seperated at this place.

"Das... das hier... ist nicht das Paradies. Das habe ich jetzt gelernt. Aber... es ... es ist der einzige Ort... den ich... zu hause nennen würde. Der einzige Ort... and dem ich ...frieden gefunden habe... an dem ich glücklich bin. Trotz... trotz allem..."

('This... this is... not paradise. I learned this by now. But... it's ... it's the only place... i would call home. The only place... I found piece at... where I am happy. In spite of.... everything that happened.')

Silence.
They looked at each other.

His eyes narrowed.
"Sieht... sieht so aus als müsste ich dich dann zwingen, ja?"
(Looks... I have to force you then, yes?')

She smiled again, giggled.
She jumped at him again, threw him over, cuddled up to him.
"Ich.... ich bin so glücklich... du... du bist hier.. Ich... lasse dich nich mehr los..."
('I... I am so happy.... you... you are here... I... won't let you go again...')

Jack started to curse, to kick, to scream.
No chance.
He was just a fawn. She was stronger than him.
She simply ignored his hurting kicks, his bites.

... she was able to bear a lot of pain if she wanted to...

Her eyes were closed... she looked satisfied... her breath went regulary...seemed... seemed she fell asleep... on him...

He stopped his useless fight after a few minutes.
No chance. He had to gave up.
... for... for now he was simply too weak.
A weak fawn.
He screamed again.
He already started to hate this body again.

The white fawn turned his head, looked at his sleeping 'little' sister.

Well then...
... he was patient.

All he has to do... was waiting now.
They would get out of here. Together. If that stupid girl wants or not.

...for now... soldier... take this time... as a little rest... wait... patiently.
You will be grown up again... and then... you are strong again... yes...

He put his head on the ground.

Somehow... he enjoyed the warmth of her body on his back...
... her touch... her smell...
He closed his eyes.

He started to fight again...
... no he... he won't...
... he hadn't...

He gave up again.

He loved this feeling.
He missed it.

... he missed her.