"..."
Current form: [Stag] - [skull mask, antelope pelt, default antlers + poppies] - ⊕
Wearing this scarf and necklace from Akos, as well as this necklace from Shardul and Nikhil.

SOME SHIT HAPPENED.

Approached by Sauvi towards the end of the rut who expressed her desire in having a child. Had harbored a want to do such with both her and Hymn at some point should either share the same sentiment, but was initially reluctant, if only for the so many other children in his life he knew he hadn't given the time of day they deserved. Still, in the end, decided to go ahead and ask Celeste and Hymn's feelings on it - didn't want to go against their wishes and upset someone without coming to a conclusion without their input, being a family unit and all. Felt a point of calm and stability had been reached, enough so that bringing a new member into the family could be handled well.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE

Like night and day, while Hymn was entirely for it and outright excited, hadn't anticipated the extent of Celeste's response. Would have settled with her just not being comfortable with the idea and refrained, but realized rapidly that the issue went far deeper than just this one situation. In the end, it stemmed down to a combination of two things - the kirin doe seeming to not entirely understand the concept of equality in their four-way relationship, and the intention that the love between them was intended or thought to be mutual in all directions, and that it had never been just 'him and her'. In the end, after taking a bit of time to think things over, Celeste left the relationship, leaving three.

Numbly assisted in getting her set up in a familiar neighbouring world, Demasos, that he'd visited frequently enough and deemed to be a safe and comfortable place to reside. Set up a portal room in each home - his in Honem, and hers in Nevale - with the assistance of his family so that their children could visit either parent at any given time when and if desired. Almost completely devoid of emotion around her, not knowing how to handle it, since it was blatantly clear they both were still very much in love with one another. For a good while, internally berated himself for being "unable" to devote himself to just one person and have to be "disloyal" to get his "kicks" instead, telling himself repeatedly that being with multiple people at once wasn't "normal" and that he should feel badly about it. Only let these things out behind closed doors, and snuck off into the Endless to break down in their den in peace. No matter, joined by Sauvi and Hymn, and brought flowers by Khayru that night. In spite of being immensely ashamed of being caught in that state, was also infinitely grateful for the company of his loved ones and adopted son.

Made a note to visit Khayru as well in the near future, having wanted to talk to him about a particular subject and make an offer that the boy was welcome to accept or reject at any given time.

In the meantime, hoping he can at least make one person happy. Trying for a child with Sauvi, and keeping his fingers crossed that by the time they're born, enough calm and normality will have returned to their home to make for a welcoming environment. Sinking back into a bit of a depression, but at least is vaguely optimistic that he'll be able to climb back out of it this time.

However, a few days back, was approached by Celeste who wanted to speak with him. Upon visiting her home in Nevale, was granted an apology for how she'd acted, and how she'd put herself "above" Hymn and Sauvi and thought herself entitled to more with him than them. Noted how blatantly exhausted and depressed she looked, like the life had drained right out of the earth kirin. Yet, immediately grew reluctant and felt his chest tighten when she alluded to "understanding" the meaning of the relationship he was in now, and implied asking for another chance. Instantly was flooded with concern, worried that it was only the stability or the familiarity that she missed and that she was just going to end up in a situation that would upset her again, or worse - that she'd suffer through it silently just to be with him. Terrified of the potentially false hope it was stirring in him and wanted so badly for it to be true, but couldn't know for sure, and the kirin doe even said as much. Instead, implored her to consider what she was asking in more depth.

"Give it some more time, please.. think on it. Be absolutely certain this is what you want and that it's not just the stability and familiarity you're missing. I'm not.. necessarily saying it is but the last thing I want to happen is for us to end up in the same situation as before. I hope that's reasonable." His shoulders drop a bit and his eyes drift half-shut again, looking exhausted. "I think it'd be good if you talked to Hymn and Sauvi too about what we just talked about, one on one if need be but.. if you want to be part of this, it's not just me and you being together, it's all of us."

The kirin agreed which relieved a small fraction of his paranoia, but is trying desperately not to get his hopes up until the situation becomes "real", if at all. Gods know their family had been through so much already. Teetering precariously on the edge of hope and more heartache, scared to "lose" someone he had yet to get "back" in the first place.