I haven't been on here in awhile. And I'm not exactly sure why, probably just school and shit, High School finals, friends and everything caught me up I guess. I decided to come on here and see what's going on.

Eh,

This has to be the best day of my life.

I find out, our already poverty stricken family has to wait another 3 weeksf
for our check, the money will probably be spent mostly on cigarettes and alcohol for my parents. The girl Ive fell madly in love with for months said no when I asked her to be my valentine yesterday
.
My parents have been fighting all day. I had an asthma attack I'm the morning and I'm sick.
Someone posted a hate mail on my blog anonymously saying I used large words to heighten my self esteem, called my an outcast which roughly reflects my past and my whole life in general.

I just kinda want to roll over and die.

Anyone remember having me on their windows live messenger contact list?

Whoever does, can you tell me your ID? Or whatever to put in for "Add contact"

I've been feeling empty lately, I think I've lost all feeling of emotion and happiness or any of the sort. I'm trying to find myself, it's just tough.

I'm just very down right now, I have been for awhile.
I just wish... I just wish I could feel again...


I remember that this site was something that helped me at least smile back then, and I know I've said it before and again and thousands of times but I'll try to come on more often, and I'd like to, but school and everything gets in the way and it's my sister's computer as well.
But I'll try my hardest to.

And I just miss everything.
I miss you guys..

I especially... Miss myself.

So... My girlfriend that I've been going out for, for about 3 months, broke up with me on the 27th, which so happened to be the day before our anniversary. At the ending of school I was waiting outside, and she was holding hands with some girl that she later on told me that she liked.... She walked away with her as if I didn't even matter.. My friend, that used to be a good friend of hers started to really hate the people she's been hanging around, and now she hates her, and they both hate each other now, well, anyway, she told me, when we were still going out that she thought some guy got a lot more cuter than he had been, which happens to be someone that I knew a VERY long time ago.

She had invited me to be her Chambelon for her Quinceneara (Quinceneara is the coming of age party for a hispanic teenager, and a Chambelon is the dance partner for the girl)

Apparently she had been going into a relationship too fast... But that was a lie... She already has a HUGE crush on someone else besides that girl, she wants to go out with either of them so quickly.... And she's running into a bad crowd, and I don't want her to ruin her life... She's already ruined mine, and I feel almost emotionless... I've actually thought of suicide multiple times... But my friends are keeping me up... And I can't think of that anymore..

The girl she was holding hands had been spreading rumors about me, and apparently I'm a lowlife-horrible person now. And this guy that she likes does drugs every day all day, and I'm afraid she might run into that too... I couldn't go through with being her Chambelon anymore, knowing that she's easily moved on.. And how badly she's hurt me... And how beautiful she'd look in that dress... I couldn't...

Once I told her, she blocked me away from everything.. And now I feel like a horrible person... She's hurt me so much... But... I hope she realized how bad she might get into until it's too late... I don't want her fucking up her life....

For those who tried to help a random deer get a set, thank you for trying, but my computer is being stupid and randomly crashing. >_< Sorry for the the hard work for nothing. >_<

During the upgrade from vista to Windows 7, all my data had been deleted, and now I don't have a set, anyone mind helping a poor lad out?

I'm sorry I haven't been on lately. Life is attacking me, haha. I miss you all, even the ones I don't even know, because I wish to meet you, well, Mute, wishes to meet you all.

Mute misses Munkel the most, he apologizes to her the most of all, he loves her very much.













I will try to get on more often, in the forest, and in MSN with Munkel and Serenai, 'Cos, hell.... You guys are the best. I miss you all, I hope to see you all.

"I am but a Wolf, born to be free,
This should be clear, for all to see,
I want nothing, but what is rightfully mine,
Decreed as such, since the beginning of time.

I hold no anger, yet man I fear,
For man destroys, yet sheds no tear,
For how can I, have respect for you,
With all the destruction, that man can do." --Brother Wolf